I lost my wife last year due to cancer. Over our 30 years together, she was surprised that I listened to you on the radio and asked me to change the station when you were on, because she thought you were mean. I told her that sometimes the truth hurts, and she should listen to you some more and she’d see that a lot of what you said made sense. When your book “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” came out, I gave her a copy, and she read it. Her comment to me was “Oh, yeah, I’m sure you would like me to be like that!” I was sad to find it in the trash. Our marriage was at a crossroads, and this proved it to me, but I didn’t push the issue, because she actually did read the book.
Sometime later, I overheard her talking with a good friend of hers. To my surprise, she used a phrase I heard you use with callers – “What’s up?” She didn’t use slang that much, so I knew she must be listening. Again, I didn’t call her out on it, because she might “shut down” on me.
A few weeks after that, she started doing some of the things you suggest, like putting candles around a bathtub and inviting me to join her. I loved it, but it was hard not to say “this is a Dr. Laura thing!” But I didn’t say anything.
Like a plant seedling, I had to let these ideas grow, without yelling “Grow, darn it” because that doesn’t work. And they did grow, and our marriage got stronger and was on a solid foundation for the last years of her life. Thank you for writing that book!
Steve
My Wife Finally Got The Message