As I approached my mid-30s, even though I knew time was of the essence, I still did not make hasty decisions with the men I was dating. I took time to get to know them, and unfortunately, that meant ruling many of them out, even though I knew that meant risking my dreams of being a mom through the traditional definition. But I loved my future children too much to bring them into this world just to check off some “to do” list for women in their 30s.
Because of listening to you, I have to thank you for all the things I chose NOT to do, and for all the things I DID choose. Here are just a few:
-
I didn’t marry, because the men I dated wouldn’t have been wise choices.
-
Consequently, I didn’t put children through a needless divorce because I didn’t choose wisely in a husband.
-
I didn’t shack up either.
-
When friends suggested I just have a child on my own, I did not. I didn’t freeze eggs, put my body through IVF treatment as a single woman or go get knocked up at the local pub just to be part of the “mom” club.
-
I did not ignore all of the other ways there are to be maternal and to be a positive force in a child’s life.
-
I did not close my mind or heart to the idea of being a foster parent or part of a Big Sister program – all the ways there are to give love to children who are already here on this earth.
-
I did not spend long mourning the fact that I’d never know the magical kick from someone growing inside my body. Instead, I dreamed NEW dreams for myself, and know that there is richer happiness and deeper meaning that lies ahead for me because of those choices.
Janet
Thank You For All The Things I Didn’t Do
