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Email of the Day: Why We Didn’t Shack Up Before Marriage

By Dr. Laura on July, 20 2021
Email of the Day: Why We Didn’t Shack Up Before Marriage

When my husband and I became engaged, our happily married friends and family were excited for us. But those who were divorced, single or unhappily married had a slightly different take. They thought that we needed to try living together first. The list of “what ifs” was endless, but my fiancé and I knew we didn’t want to go down that path. When we made our commitment to be together, we wanted it to be binding, not some wishy-washy “trial period.”


I’m so glad we stuck to our guns, because it has had a huge effect on our attitude toward each other. If we had decided to shack up and see how things went, we would have been watching for signs of trouble. I might have let it get to me that he never put his dirty clothes in the hamper, or my habit of leaving boxes of feminine hygiene products on the sink counter might have been more than he could handle. We made a commitment to each other. So, I pick up his clothes because I’m his wife. That’s a small trade-off for having such an amazing husband.


The difference between “let’s see how this goes” and “let’s make this work” is the difference between failure and success in a marriage. As one of my co-workers predicted, I really do love being married!



Why We Didn’t Shack Up Before Marriage



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