A listener sent me this brilliant story and I thought I'd share it with the rest of you.
My mom did not sleep. She was exhausted, irritable, grumpy, bitter, and always sick. Then one day, she changed.
My dad said to her: "I've been looking for a job for 3 months, and I haven't found anything. I'm going to have a few beers with friends."
My mom replied: "It's okay."
My brother said to her: "I'm doing poorly in all subjects at the university."
My mom replied: "Okay, you'll recover, and if you don't, then repeat the semester, but you pay the tuition."
My sister said to her: "I smashed the car."
My mom replied: "Okay, take it in, find out how to pay for it, and while they fix it, get around by bus or subway."
Her daughter-in-law said to her: "I've come to spend a few months with you."
My mom replied: "Okay, settle on the living room couch and look for some blankets in the closet."
All of us were worried about these reactions coming from Mom, and we proposed to do an "intervention," but then she gathered us around her to explain:
It took me a long time to realize that each person is responsible for their own life. My anguish, anxiety, depression, and stress don't solve your problems, but they do aggravate mine. So, I've concluded that my duty to myself is to remain calm and let each one of you solve what corresponds to you. I can only control myself. You have all the necessary resources to solve your own problems, despite how hard they may be. I can pray for you, love you and encourage you, but it's up to YOU to solve these problems and find your happiness. There are consequences to your decisions, and you have to live with them. From now on, I declare you all independent and self-sufficient adults.
Everyone was speechless, but from that day on, the family began to function better, because everyone in the house knew exactly what it was that they needed to do.
For some of us, this is hard because we've grown up being the caregivers and feeling responsible for others. As moms and wives, we are fixers who never want our loved ones to struggle or go through difficult things. We want everyone to be happy.
But the sooner we take that responsibility off of our shoulders and put it on to each loved one, the better we are at preparing them to be "ME-sponsible."
We are not here on earth to be everything to everyone. Stop putting that pressure on yourself.
Much love,
A Happy Woman ❤️
