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Marriage
05/13/2010
IconDon't marry the person you think you can live with;marry only the individual you think you can't live without. - James C. Dobson More >>

Tags: EducationFamily/Relationships - FamilyMarriageQuote of the WeekRelationshipsRelatives
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05/13/2010
IconThe Claremont Institute ( http://www.claremont.org/ ) recently published two book reviews having to do with the significance of marriage to the well-being of children, and the cohesiveness of society in general.' The books reviewed are: "Marriage and Caste in America:' Separate and Unequal Families in a Post-Marital Age," by Kay S. Hymowitz, and "The Future of Marriage," by David Blankenhorn.These are two fascinating and informational books that you ought to read.' The reviewer, F. Carolyn Graglia, writes: "Over the past four decades, American adults have seemed more concerned with enjoying their own existence than with the generation and welfare of children." And in her book, Hymowitz writes: "Children of single mothers are less successful on just about every measure than children growing up with their married parents regardless of their income, race, or educational levels:' they are more prone to drug and alcohol abuse, to crime, and to school failure; they are less likely to graduate from college; they are more likelyl to have children at a young age, and more likely to do so when they are unmarried. Soaring divorce rates and out-of-wedlock births (37% of U. S.' births are illegitimate) have made ours a nation of separate and unequal families." The propensity to divorce is apparently correlated with two-income families. Hymowitz notes that the "traditional families, with breadwinner husband and stay-at-home wife had the lowest rate of divorce." Women employed 80% of the time since the birth of their first child are twice as likely to be divorced as stay-at-home moms.'Today, more than 40% of all first marriages end in divorce (the rates for second and third marriages are higher), and more than half of all U.S. children will spend "at least a significant part of their childhood living apart from their father." Shacking up, having babies out of wedlock as an entitlement for working women who don't have the time or inclination to create a marriage, having babies out of wedlock because of irresponsible sexual behavior (and not considering adoption to a two-parent mom and dad)...all of these now-normalized behaviors reek of narcissism and indicate that we worry less about children and more about adults being unfettered by morality, good sense, or compassion to the needs of children. More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenMarriageParenting
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05/13/2010
IconPastor Alexander Hardy, Jr. of the New Dimension Worship Center in Frederick, Maryland banded together with 16 other churches to present Families United '08 two weekends ago.' This was a three-day conference for children and adults, including workshops and fun and games.' Sunday was even declared Marriage Day in Frederick, by way of a proclamation from the mayor and aldermen.The point of this effort was to send a message of hope and perseverance to younger adults.' The religious aspect was not incidental:' one participant said that building a relationship with God has made all the difference in building relationships with his wife and children: "When we got married, we didn't know God.' God has taught us to be humble; taught us we don't always have to be right or have it our way." All together, about 350 people attended this event, with six couples renewing their vows in front of their children and community.' Inspiring! More >>

Tags: Marriage
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05/13/2010
IconIf it's never our fault, we can't take responsibility for it.'If we can't take responsibility for it, we'll always be its victim. - Richard Bach, Author More >>

Tags: EducationFamily/Relationships - FamilyMarriageQuote of the WeekRelationshipsRelatives
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05/13/2010
Icon"Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God." Pierre Teilhard de Chardin''''''''' French philosopher More >>

Tags: EducationFamily/Relationships - FamilyMarriageQuote of the WeekRelationshipsRelatives
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05/13/2010
Icon"In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility." Eleanor Roosevelt'''''''' Diplomat, Humanitarian, and First Lady More >>

Tags: EducationFamily/Relationships - FamilyMarriageQuote of the WeekRelationshipsRelatives
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05/13/2010
IconLegend has it that one of the top commercial theatre producers on Broadway once joked:' "There's no profit like non-profit."' Taking a page out of what could easily be a Tony Award-winning script, the Los Angeles Times has reported that the former Vice President for Finance and Administration for [Un]Planned Parenthood's Los Angeles affiliate has filed a whistleblower lawsuit, alleging that various [Un]Planned Parenthood affiliates overcharged California and the federal government by at least $180 million from the late 1990's through 2004.What was the alleged scam?' The Family Research Council reports that California [Un]Planned Parenthood affiliates would purchase oral contraceptives at a special discount price offered only to non-profit organizations, and then bill California's Medi-Cal program for "up to twelve times as much as they paid ."According to an article in the Los Angeles Times (3/8/08): "A 2004 state audit of Planned Parenthood of San Diego and Riverside Counties - one of nine affiliates statewide...identified more than $5.2 million in overbillings just during the 2003 fiscal year."To make matters more unbelievable, in 2004, [Un]Planned Parenthood complained that a lower reimbursement rate could imperil its survival (God forbid!) and lobbied Sacramento, the California state capital,' to get a law passed allowing it to continue to bill at the same usurious rates!Just for a chuckle, I decided to take a look at tax returns (Form 990's) for the Los Angeles chapter for the past three years to see what impact this new law has had.' According to the 2005 and 2006 Form 990s, the Los Angeles chapter has had $53 million in revenue and $12.5 million in surplus ("non-profit speak" for profit! )' That's a 24% profit - I mean "surplus" - margin!' Holy moly!Where is the media outrage over this story?' Leave aside the policy debate which has been effectively stifled by the anti-life forces and has allowed [Un]Planned Parenthood's personal agenda to become de facto public policy.' How dare our lawmakers ratify and institutionalize the price-gouging and the pickpocketing of California taxpayers!' According to the Times the lawsuit was filed "under seal" in 2005, after the state legislators apparently had ratified and sanctified the alleged misbehavior of the past.'At the very least, [Un]Planned Parenthood's non-profit status should be seriously reviewed, based on their clear record of turning dimes into dollars. More >>

Tags: CommitmentMarriageSocial Issues
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05/13/2010
IconMy, my, my.' My comments last week on why many men stray from their marriage vows generated more email to me than any one thing I've said in years.' 85% of the letters I received were wonderfully appreciative and supportive of what I said.' Men and women alike "got" what I was saying and acknowledged the need for husbands and wives to share the responsibility for the health of their marriages.'One wrote "After seeing you on The Today Show, I asked myself, 'Am I the kind of wife my husband wants to come home to?'' I look at each day as an opportunity to honor him.' Thank you for challenging me to have the courage to change.' My husband will never go a day without knowing his wife needs, loves and respects him." Another person emailed me because my comments motivated her to look at her own issues with the overall concept of personal responsibility.' This young woman wrote that she was motivated by my comments to stop her methamphetamine addiction: "I have chosen to quit.' Once you stop feeling like such a victim to some inanimate object (the pipe does not jump into your mouth on its own) you realize your power over it." Other folks, though, seemed absolutely apoplectic over my point of view that people need to take responsibility for their lives and their relationships.'Clearly this is the crux of the problem in this country.' The concept of promoting personal responsibility in a society that encourages victims to stay victims and glamorizes the bad behavior of celebrities and politicians seems to be a hot button that makes some folks' heads explode.' People tend to hold on to their anger, hurt and depression, especially if they don't have the tools they need to break out of the cycle of personal self-destruction.That's why I wrote Stop Whining, Start Living .' I wrote it because I wanted to help people enjoy their lives more and be more content inside themselves.' None of us can do that if we persist in the self-defeating notion that we are victims... that only leads to complaining and not LIVING.This book is not for people who want to embrace their problems - it's for people who want to solve them and move on to a more productive and happy life.' If you want to feel more in control of your situations in families, neighborhoods, jobs, etc., then you first have to look inside yourself and see what YOU are doing that you shouldn't be... or what you are NOT doing that you should be!' This is where the power to change everything comes in.Some people won't ever do this.' They hold on to sadness, victimhood and complaints.' But those who read Stop Whining with an open heart and mind will find the keys - through other people's real experiences and stories - to make their life easier and more pleasurable; to improve their lives as husbands, wives, parents, and friends, and to discover the joy of being an evolved human being.Getting letters and calls from people who have taken my advice to stop whining and turn themselves into productive members of society is all the inspiration I need to keep on keeping on.' That's what puts the smile on my face. Book signing tonight in Costa Mesa, California: And if you want to see me really smile and you live in L.A. or Orange County, come on down tonight to the Barnes and Noble at the Metro Pointe Mall in Costa Mesa at 7pm.' I'll be signing copies of the aforementioned new book, Stop Whining, Start Living for all of you who embrace your own personal responsibility. More >>

Tags: ChildrenMarriageMorals, Ethics, ValuesParentingPersonal ResponsibilityValues
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05/13/2010
IconMay your blessings outnumberThe shamrocks that grow,And may trouble avoid youWherever you go.'''''''''''''''' -- Irish blessingHappy St. Patrick's Day! More >>

Tags: EducationFamily/Relationships - FamilyMarriageQuote of the WeekRelationshipsRelatives
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05/13/2010
IconAbout two months ago, my publisher, Harper Collins, called me up to tell me that The Today Show wanted to interview me in the 8AM hour on Tuesday, March 11, the day that my new book, Stop Whining, Start Living was going to be published.' I said, "Great!"Last week, I did the "pre-interview" with one of their producers, and they called me back to say they wanted to have my interview go for two segments.' I said "Even better!"Then, at 4PM on Monday, March 10, they called up and asked if I would also participate in a "panel" segment entitled "Why Men Cheat."' I went "uh oh."I hate doing panels.' I hate all the talking heads shouting over each other.' And I feared they would end up asking about tabloid gossip and not the real topic, but they reaffirmed that they really wanted to hear my opinion about "Why Men Cheat."So, silly me, on I went.' Meredith Vieira asked the three panelists, "Why do men cheat?"' Panelist' #1 said that the legacy of promiscuous cavemen has created an evolutionary tendency toward infidelity among today's men.'' Hmmm.Panelist #2 said something to the effect that men often cheat because they are missing something physically, mentally or emotionally in their relationship with someone.' Who might be responsible for this missing "something" was not specifically mentioned.' Hmm....could it be the wife?' The boss?' Co-workers?So Panelist #3 (that's me) responded: "Men need validation.' When they come into the world they are born of women and getting their validation from mommy is the beginning of needing it from a woman.' And when the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like a hero, he's very susceptible to the charms of some other woman making him feel what he needs.' And these days women don't spend a lot of time thinking about how they can give a man what they need." Maybe I should have had a sign around my neck that said I was not talking specifically about the governor of New York's current alleged problems with money transfers and a $5,000 an hour call-girl ring.' Certainly a man who won the governorship of the second largest state in the nation does not sound like a man who needs validation to feel like a success.' I was answering the question asked:' "Why do men cheat?"Suddenly, the topic WAS about the New York governor.' To my utter amazement, Panelist #1 proclaimed that the New York governor's high cheekbones and protuberant eyebrows indicated high levels of testosterone which would be a strong indicator of infidelity.Panelist #2 said that, speaking of testosterone, highly testosteroned people tend not to worry as much about the consequences of the risks they take.' (I guess that explains the use of steroids in baseball).Ms. Vieira then asked why a man of such power as the New York governor would risk everything to carry on a tawdry relationship.' Note: This was the first time that Ms. Vieira referred to the governor in any way in the entire segment.' Panelist #3 (that's me!) responded: "When a person is in a high position of power, especially a man, there is a sense of entitlement and a sense of being...above the law because of the importance of what they do -' because of the importance of who they are." Since that fleeting moment, I have been accused of the most heinous of crimes (apparently far worse than the foibles of politicians and celebrities):' giving my opinion and advice. According to The New York Times, Meredith Vieira was "aghast" at my comments.' In the 10 am hour, Ann Curry tried to take me to task for "things that were said about the governor."' Wrong!' And finally the renowned News Team at The Huffington Post proclaimed "Dr. Laura Blames Spitzer's Wife".In three segments over 2 hours I never made a comment about the Governor's wife.' And my only direct comment about the Governor was that powerful men sometimes feel an unwarranted sense of entitlement.' I answered the question they asked, not the question I've been accused of answering.Now here's the good news.' Thank goodness I had bought a new outfit for the program, and I was feeling pretty good yesterday morning, or else I might have gotten a little ticked off that my words were so ludicrously taken out of context.If you don't believe me, feel free to go to the videotape ( click here ).' And don't whine for me.' I'm having a great time in New York - good friends, good restaurants, and almost-Spring weather.On a more serious note:' The stories that we see on the news and the Internet 24/7 indicate an epidemic of dysfunctionality in America in the relationships of the powerful, talented, and merely famous.' The sad part is it is only the tip of the iceberg in our society.' And sadder still is knowing that so many children are being hurt by these problems. More >>

Tags: AdulteryInfidelityInternet-MediaInternet/MediaMarriage
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