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Motherhood
05/13/2010
IconHere's a simple test for you to contemplate:'What do you get when you leave a golden retriever dog in a car on a hot day with the windows cracked a bit, and the dog dies from being cooked in that car oven?' Well, you get arrested for felony animal cruelty, with bail set at $20,000 while you await your trial, which, if convicted, will get you about three years in jail.Okay, did you get that one right?' Probably.' Next test is:' What do you get when you leave a human child in a car on a hot day with the window not cracked a bit, and the child dies from being cooked in that car oven?' You get to be on Oprah! with an entire audience of dewy-eyed women exuding understanding and sympathy.Disgusting.Here are a few view responses to that program: "I too saw that Oprah episode.' I scoffed and hissed as I watched the 'sympathetic nodding' of Oprah's audience who were apparently relating to the distracted, forgetful 'busyness' of a mother who was asked by her husband to drop the baby off at day care that morning.' According to this woman, that was something her husband normally did, and it was outside of her daily routine. She had a lot on her mind and was concentrating on what the day had in store for her at work.' That was her reason for forgetting the baby in the car!' I just wanted to scream!' Then a thought came to my little pea brain.' I wondered if these 'understanding' women in the audience would actually 'understand' if their husbands forgot their birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, or Mother's Day because he was stressed and busy, concentrating on work, blah blah blah. Hmmmm.....yeah, I don't think so; we all know what these women would think of their controlling, nasty, insensitive husbands for forgetting these important things in life." Oh yes, there was one thing that mother did remember.' With the forgotten, ignored, unimportant human being in the back seat, she evidently did make a hurried stop to get donuts for the staff, which means the child was also left alone in the car while she got those all-important calorie-laden munchies.Right after I brought this travesty up on my radio program, I received an email from a single, twenty-three year old man, who had been watching this Oprah episode with his girlfriend of two years.' His immediate take was that the woman, the audience, and Oprah were being utterly disgusting, offering sympathy to a woman - a mother - who didn't have her child on her mind.' It seems he went on and on to his girlfriend about the sacred obligations of a mother - i.e., putting the child first - and about how awful it was to see women clucking in sympathy for this neglectful mother and not for the buried child. His girlfriend was in sympathy with the audience and was aghast that he would have such a "cold, cruel" non-understanding point of view.'''He decided at that moment to break off with her, because he couldn't see any woman with that point of view being his girlfriend, wife, and certainly not the mother of his precious children.I tell you, I was very impressed that we have such real men among our young people today.'When Oprah and other feminist, liberal, influential women take the point of view that children are not the first priority, when they coo over the "pain" of a mother who leaves her child to slowly cook to death in a car instead of storming the citadel demanding jail time for reckless endangerment, neglect and manslaughter, then we have women telling women to have compassion for irresponsibility, self-centeredness and murder.' When we have compassion for evil, we show disdain for the innocent victim.Shame on Oprah. More >>

Tags: ChildrenFamily/Relationships - ChildrenMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingPersonal Responsibility
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05/13/2010
IconAs long as you keep sending me stories like these, I'll continue to post them on this blog.' Today's email came from Lori: This is long overdue.' I started listening to your program 20 years ago, when I was in my twenties, newly married, and focused on my career.' I was in the middle of a graduate program that I had worked very hard to get into, when I got pregnant with my son.' I always thought your ideas that a parent should stay home with their child were ridiculous - I thought it was a crazy, backward notion.' That is what day care was for!! Then I had my son. He was six weeks old when I left him with a day care provider to continue my graduate program.' That was also the last time he was with a day care provider.' I physically and mentally could not stand to think that someone else was spending the day and providing for my son - something I should be doing and wanted to do.' After all, who could do it better?' My husband felt the same, so I quit graduate school and all my career plans went out the door so I could stay with my son full time.' While at first it wasn't easy, I can say without a doubt what a great decision that was! When my son and I went to the park or took a walk, I arranged it so I could listen to your radio program at the same time.' While I was sure about my decision, I had VERY LITTLE support from many others.' I got many comments or "put-downs" about what a waste of my life this was.' I felt like you were one of the few who supported me.' You were my advocate, and when I would feel especially down and question my decision, I would listen to you and it would lift me up, and I knew I was right. So, a belated thank you for what you gave me, my wonderfully supportive husband, and my son - who is now a smart, kind, funny, well-adjusted 16 year old.' Keep speaking up for us stay-at-home moms.' I can look back at that time of my life and say I absolutely have no regrets. More >>

Tags: choose wisely - treat kindlyChoose Wisely-Treat KindlyFamilyFamily/Relationships - ChildrenFamily/Relationships - FamilyMarriageMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingRelativesStay-At-Home-MomsValues
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05/13/2010
IconFrom a listener to my radio program: Dr. Laura, I want to thank you for the special moments that you helped me have.' As a listener, my husband and I decided that I would stay home with our 2 month old baby boy even before he was born.' I must admit that it's hard financially, but we understand that our son is more important than luxury. Yesterday, I had a "tear-jerker" moment.' After feeding my son, I got up and started to clean the room.' After a while, I saw him moving.' He was putting his little hand above his head, feeling for the place where my arm had just been.' Then he stretched his arms and legs in front of him where I had been lying before.' I realized he was looking for me.' His little face began to prepare to cry.' I then placed my hand on his side.' "I'm right here, baby."' He then opened his eyes.' On seeing me, he smiled his gummy smile. I stayed there, smoothing out his hair, until he fell back to sleep, but I couldn't help thinking, what if I had been at work?' What if he was with a sitter or at day care?' I wouldn't have had that moment, and he wouldn't have been comforted. I know, because I used to work at a day care center - he would have been left crying, because he had been fed and his diaper had been changed. As an ex-day care worker, I know that children are not cared for lovingly.' They just have their physical needs met, but not their emotional needs. There were so many kids who called me "mommy," and that was only because I was doing her job while doing mine.' The fact was, "mommy" wasn't there.' But I was and am here for our son.' Thank you. More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingStay-At-Home-MomsValues
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05/13/2010
IconI am extremely disappointed in the choice of Sarah Palin as the Vice Presidential candidate of the Republican Party.' I will still vote for Senator McCain, because I am very concerned about having a fundamental leftist, especially one who is a marvelous orator, as President.At first, I thought it amusing that McCain picked a pretty, smart, and tough female to counter the racist/sexist accusations going back and forth between parties.' I remember how Oprah Winfrey got caught in the cross-fire as she stepped up to the political table to support Obama with pride that a black man could rise to such heights in the USA, only to get slammed by feminists who told her it was gender, not race, that she should back.' Understandably, Ms. Winfrey pulled back from it all.Forget gender and race.' I'm frankly and sadly caught in the dilemma of having to balance policy versus example in touting a candidate for the office of the First Family.' I was ferociously attacked (what's new?) when I spoke out strongly against Bill Clinton's dalliances in the Oval Office.' That situation quickly turned into a debate whether "private has anything to do with public."' Nonsense.' Role models are very important.' Children and young adults look to those who are visible and successful as a road map of what is acceptable behavior and emulate those actions over the morals and values their parents and churches have taught and tried to reinforce.' It's a tough go these days, when the "bad that men or women do" is used for entertainment purposes without judgment, or is excused because of political or financial considerations.I'm stunned - couldn't the Republican Party find one competent female with adult children to run for Vice President with McCain?'' I realize his advisors probably didn't want a "mature" woman, as the Democrats keep harping on his age.' But really, what kind of role model is a woman whose fifth child was recently born with a serious issue, Down Syndrome, and then goes back to the job of Governor within days of the birth?I am haunted by the family pictures of the Palins during political photo-ops, showing the eldest daughter, now pregnant with her own child, cuddling the family's newborn.' When Mom and Dad both work full-time (no matter how many folks get involved with the children), it becomes a somewhat chaotic situation.' Certainly, if a child becomes ill and is rushed to the hospital, and you're on the hotline with both Israel and Iran as nuclear tempers are flaring, where's your attention going to be?' Where should your attention be?' Well, once you put your hand on the Bible and make that oath, your attention has to be with the government of the United States of America.I am positively moved that neither Sarah nor her daughter were willing to terminate the lives of their unborn children.' This is in sharp contrast to Obama's statement that "When it comes specifically to HIV/AIDS, the most important prevention is education, which should include...which should include abstinence education and teaching children...teaching children, you know, that sex is not something casual.' But it should also include - it should also include other, you know, information about contraception, because, look, I've got two daughters, 9 years old and 6 years old.' I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals.' But if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby." (March, 2008) So, one Vice Presidential candidate and her daughter demonstrate, under conditions of great stress, that babies are valued human beings, not punishment.' However, that same VP candidate came forth in April of 2008 with a proclamation for "Family Child Care Week," in which she wrote: "These professionals are positive role models for the children they care for and the communities they serve." Clearly, Palin sees the need for positive role models.' I suggest that they be Mommy and Daddy, and not the hired help.Child-care facilities are a necessity when mothers and fathers (when they exist at all) are unwilling or incapable of caring for their offspring.' Unfortunately, they have become a mainstay of the feminista mentality that nothing should stand in the way of a woman's ambition - nothing, including her family.Any full-time working wife and mother knows that the family takes the short end of the stick.' Marriages and the welfare of children suffer when a stressed-out mother doesn't have time to be a woman, a wife, and a hands-on Mommy. More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingPoliticsSocial Issues
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05/13/2010
IconHere's some good news for the day after Mother's Day.' One delightful index of the movement away from the "feminist mother" mentality of "other-than-mother" care is the percentage of new moms who are breastfeeding.' While it is possible that some women squeeze out breast milk into a bottle for the hired help to administer to their baby, the latest Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data indicate that 77% of new mothers breastfeed their infants, which is the highest rate in the United States in at least 20 years!The percentage of black infants who were breast-fed rose most dramatically - to 65%.' Only 36% were ever breast-fed in 1993-1994, the study found.' For whites, the figure rose to 79% from 62%.' For Hispanics, it increased to 80%, from 67%.The rates of breast feeding were lowest among women who were unmarried, poor, rural, younger than 20, and had a high school education or less.Experts emphasize that breast milk is better than formula at protecting babies against disease and childhood obesity. More >>

Tags: ChildrenHealthMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParenting
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05/13/2010
IconIn the feminista days of my youth (college in the 1960's) I took up the sword of the feminist movement's message that marriage and mothering were yokes of oppression.' Fortunately, I recovered from that ailment in time to become a wife and mother.' Since my "rehab," I've been a fervent supporter of adoption over abortion and mothering over institutionalized day-orphanages.' I'm grateful to be able to say that I've been able to influence over 30 years' worth of listeners to my radio program.'To celebrate this Mother's Day I have decided to share of some their letters and lives: TaShanique: I began listening to your radio program before I got pregnant, and when I discovered that I was expecting, it was clear what I had to do.' My husband gave me the go-ahead to quit my stressful job in March of 2007, even though my son wasn't due until late July.' I was prepared to be a stay-at-home mommy.' One thing I wasn't prepared for was all the backlash that I received.' I' heard that I was being arrogant in assuming that I could teach my child everything by sheltering him from the world; I would be spoiling my child by not exposing him to other people.' Also, after church one day, I yawned and someone said to me 'Why are you yawning?' You don't have a job so you shouldn't be tired!'' I thought it was a joke, until I saw he wasn't laughing. This may have not bothered most people, but I was suffering from postpartum depression and had a hard time with such negativity from others.' I also hadn't been receiving my regular 'dose' of Dr Laura, so I started to second- guess myself as to whether or not I had made the right choice. However, it seems like everything changed in one day.' I got stuck in traffic and turned to your broadcast and listened to you encourage mothers to 'go do the right thing.'' When I got home, my husband greeted me with a big hug and kiss, and told me that I was doing a great job and that he's proud to have me as his wife and the mother of his son.' I was doing the right thing; I was being my son's mother and my husband's wife. That same evening, a person who had been the most critical toward me called me and was very upset. The pediatrician who cares for her daughter begged her to remove her daughter from day-care because she is constantly ill and underweight.' She was upset at the pediatrician, and asked me what she should do.' I told her to go do the right thing, which she took to mean that it was time to criticize me once again for making the choice to stay at home.' I told her that I had to go make dinner for my family and hung up.' What she had to say didn't bother me. My husband and I are planning on having another baby next year.' This time I will be well prepared.' I am currently creating a list that contains the reasons why I stay at home.' That will ensure that even through postpartum depression that I won't forget that I did the right thing." Karen: I have been wanting to write to you since my first daughter was born 4 years ago to proclaim 'I am my Kid's Mom!' and to tell you that I could not have done that without your encouragement. My parents did not teach me that the most important job in the world was being a parent.' My father did not respect my mother's role as wife and mother, and my mother obviously resented being his wife.' While she did tell us that being a mother was her greatest joy, I am not sure that she ever would have stood on a mountaintop to proclaim, 'I am My Kid's Mom!' Since that time, my parents divorced.' My mother died a month before my wedding, and my greatest sadness is that I cannot share with her my complete joy and happiness in being a parent.' My father, having had some dramatic life changes, has completely supported me and continually tells me how proud he is that I am choosing to be a stay-at-home mom, and to be 'My Kid's Mom.'' By the way, he listens to you as well and I made him a t-shirt with a picture of him holding my daughter at 6 hours of age - the t-shirt says, 'I am my grand-daughter's grandpa!' I am now 42 years old.' I did not meet the man of my dreams until I was 36, so we had to work quickly to start our family.' When I met the love of my life, I knew that he was the man that I wanted to be the father of my children.' I was so right.' He and my daughter are glued to each other every waking moment; she is happy to sit in his lap and watch C-SPAN!' Every day that I see them together, I fall in love with him more and more.' My favorite pastime is listening to them over the baby monitor as they read and giggle together!!' He is definitely his kid's dad. I remember as a teenager saying that I never wanted to get married or have a family - I did not want to give up my independence.' If I did, I wanted to be able to afford a full-time nanny.' What a crock of crap!' The day my daughter was born I changed my voice mail.' Instead of the business response, it now says, 'You have reached the proud mama of K.R.A.' Sorry we can't take your call, but we are busy at the park, at the playgroup, at the pool, at music class, etc.' I was so worried about my professional identity before she was born.' Took me less than two minutes to toss my professional identity out of the window because 'I am my Kid's Mom!' While this is a great story, where do you fit in, Dr. Laura?' I never, ever would have wanted to be my kid's mom without your encouragement as well as some modeling from some of my friends.' So, thank you for your wisdom and nagging. Excelsa: I am a stay-at-home mom to my 1 year 7 month old daughter.' Each day I teach her several words and she repeats them after me.' I started with the simple words and progressed to more difficult ones.' I went through all the body parts, then animals, then constellations and other miscellaneous words.' Well, just when I was beginning to wrap things up, I said to my daughter, 'Honey, can you say love?'' She smiled her cute little smile and said, 'Mom.' Oh, my heart just melted.' My husband was listening, and he just picked up our daughter and gave her the biggest kiss and said, 'Yes, honey, Mommy is love.' Just thought I'd let you know that this is such a defining moment for me as a mother, and that I know I am doing a great job raising my daughter. Final Thought: A caller to my radio program described being a surrogate mother for her brother and sister-in-law.' Preliminary tests suggested that the baby has Down Syndrome.' The brother and sister-in-law want her to abort; she wanted my opinion.' I suggested that she get them in contact with parent groups of Down Syndrome children for support and information; and if that did not change their minds, to either keep the baby herself (she was married) or get them to sign away their rights and offer the child for adoption.' I received scores of letters from married women willing to adopt this child.'Happy Mother's Day. More >>

Tags: ChildrenMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParenting
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05/13/2010
IconThe "Work and Family" section of The Wall Street Journal recently had an essay describing why some single women choose to freeze their eggs.' Mind you - the essay was about single women.Evidently, only 2-4% of frozen eggs once thawed yield live births.' Also, it's not yet clear whether babies born from such eggs will face any long-term health problems.' So it would seem that many women risk making important life decisions (like staying with a career long in life) based on false assumptions that their fertility is secure.The procedure (which ranges from about $9,000 to $14,000) has been used as a way to preserve fertility for cancer patients facing treatments likely to render them sterile.' This is a benevolent use of this budding technology.'However, most of the interest seems to come from women delaying marriage and child-bearing because they are ferociously career-oriented and/or can't find or keep a good man.' I would like to send them each a copy of my book, " The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands ," because it is cheaper and more to the point.These women want to "make a close family" (never mind that there would be no Daddy in this "close" family), or give their parents the "gift" of a grandchild (making a child a present).' Nowhere in the article did the notion of a single woman making a baby for herself point out that this may not be in the best interest of the child!' I guess that doesn't matter. More >>

Tags: MotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParenting
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05/13/2010
IconIn a never-ending supply of lows, TV's newest contribution to the destruction of dignity, modesty, and compassion is on the Fox Network, entitled " The Moment of Truth ."' The basic concept is to have people admit to immoral, illegal, embarrassing, stupid, crass or just plain dumb behavior while attached to a "polygraph," which purports to determine whether the answer given by the contestant is "truthful."' Truthful answers are rewarded by cash, up to a half-million dollars.' It's sickening to see what some folks will destroy in their own souls and relationships for money - even a lot of money.The New York Times ( January 25, 2008 ) described a scenario on the series' premiere show: 'Ty, a personal trainer, said 'yes' when asked if he has delayed having children because he is not sure that Catia, his wife of 2 1/2 years, would be his 'lifelong partner.'' After he replied, a disembodied female voice delivered the verdict:' 'The answer is....(long dramatic beat) TRUE!'' The camera panned to Catia, who stopped smiling and murmured 'I'm dying here.'' Her friend, April, turned to her and asked in a semi-whisper 'Is it worth $100,000 to learn that?'"Well, financially, it wasn't worth anything because when Ty was asked whether he had ever touched a female client more than was strictly necessary, his "no" was determined by the polygraph to be a lie, and he lost all his winnings This is sick stuff.' All truths ought not to be spoken.There is a new film out with a plot that I believe appropriately condemns society for caving into the basest part of human nature.' There is a "bad" guy who murders people and puts their lingering, torturous death on the Internet live.' The more people who log on....the faster and more horrific the victim's death.' What happens?' Well, more people log on.' The parallel is inescapable.' Shame on Fox, but more so, shame on us. More >>

Tags: Internet-MediaInternet/MediaMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParenting
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05/13/2010
IconI recently got an email from a first time "mom to be" about her experiences online as she attempted to find support and information from others in the same situation.' She was quite disturbed by what she found, and I offered her the opportunity to be this week's "Guest Blogger" and share her comments with you:
Dr. Laura:
I cannot thank you enough for being a voice of reason these days.' It has recently hit home pretty hard about how "turned around" people have become in their thinking and the decisions they make.
I'm 6+ months pregnant with my first child, and was excited to join an online pregnancy club for my birth month.' I quickly became sickened as I read the threads that were being posted by other soon-to-be mothers.' I read thread after thread of mothers whose boyfriends were cheating on them, and they'd just complain and get sympathy from other soon-to-be mothers (and I use that word very lightly).
The overall sympathetic message that kept reverberating was that it is never the woman's fault, and they can't help it that their child's "sperm donor" is such a deadbeat.' They encourage each other with strong words and big talk about how they have more than enough love for their child and have absolutely NO need for a father.' They even have their own lovely support group for single/unwed mothers, to provide emotional support for these poor unwitting victims of sex.
I tried to combat some of these women's comments to no avail.' No matter what I posted about how life can be better, and we can make good decisions for our children and that there are other alternatives to give our children what they deserve (i.e., a two parent home), I kept getting absolutely lambasted from every direction:' attacked on all sides, called every name, my words twisted and distorted to make it seem like I was the most uncaring, unfeeling person in the world, and had nothing of value to say regarding families.' These women didn't
need
a father to influence their children, period!' They certainly didn't need me advocating the importance of fathers or pointing out that we are old enough to make good decisions - for example, not bed-hopping from one creep to another, hurting our children.' When I used my own wonderful husband as an example of the great guys that are out there, I was told to give my marriage more time, because it was certain not to last, and boy, then wouldn't I feel stupid for my words!
This
coming from the future mothers of America.
When did we all become victims?' When did we give up on making good decisions and become bodies just used for sex and ruining children's lives?' I am sickened and disheartened, and I cannot wipe these "threads" from my mind.' I couldn't imagine living the kind of lives they live - not out of self-righteousness, as they accuse me of and for which they spit on my ideals - but because life would be devoid of anything decent or holy.' I did not realize there was really that kind of emptiness and deprivation in our wonderful country.' I thank my parents for keeping me from that kind of a life.' Thank you, Dr. Laura, for being a beacon shining through the haze of this new America.' The "sperm donors" aren't the ones who are really ruining our society.' The single/unwed mother club of America is robbing our future generations of life's purpose, meaning, and love.
Elisabeth More >>

Tags: AbortionMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodValues
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