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Sexuality
05/13/2010
IconJ.C. Penney officials are upset about a racy, fake advertisement on YouTube, in which the retailer appears to be endorsing teen sex.' The "fake" ad'was not done with their knowledge or permission.The video, called "Speed Dressing," ends with teens telling the girls' mother that they're heading down to the basement to watch TV.' As they head toward the basement door, the words "Today's the day to get away with it" flash on the screen, echoing Penney's use of the phrase "Today's the day to..." in a series of ads it launched last year.' Penney's logo and slogan then appear on the screen.The title refers to the beginning of the video which shows two teenagers in their own respective bedrooms stripping down to their underwear and then timing themselves as they race to put their clothes back on.'The amoral part of this story is the response of Alan Siegel, chief executive of New York strategic-branding company Siegel + Gale. "It's not going to reflect well on the brand in Middle America, but the ad is nicely done and the people in it are attractive; young people in New York and LA will get a kick out of it," he said.The potential impact on young people is irrelevant, however, as long as it's clever and attractive?' Amoral thinking at best. More >>

Tags: AttitudeFamily/Relationships - TeensSexSexualitySocial IssuesTeensValues
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05/13/2010
IconOver a decade ago, as a guest on the Donahue television show, while I was attempting to explain the concepts of "Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives" (my current book at the time) to a pre-arranged hostile audience, I was inundated with bitter challenges on the issue of day care, which, interestingly, wasn't even an issue in the book.Fed up with the nonsense, I took control from Donahue (no simple task) and challenged the audience members to stand up if, after dying and coming back a second time, they would actually choose to be raised by a nanny, baby-sitter, or day care center.' Funny thing....nobody got up.As I have pointed out numerous times here, in my book "Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids," and on my radio program, adults have become so self-serving that the well-being and appropriate needs of children have been ferociously ignored or dismissed.' I've recently read national reports demonstrating that parents - even before they have children - are fighting for spots in day care centers!' I figure, if they can plan that far ahead, they certainly can plan to have a parent at home, or to wait to have children until they are able and willing to do the right thing for their family.I have been thoroughly amazed at how the injuries, abuse, and deaths of children in day care centers has left many attending families angry - but angry with the authorities for closing them down!' Can you imagine that?State auditors reviewing the California Department of Social Services compared the addresses of the state's licensed facilities (including foster family homes and day care centers) with the state's database of registered sex offenders, and found that the addresses of 49 sex offenders matched those of 46 child care facilities.' It should go without saying that convicted sex offenders shouldn't be employed in a facility for children.Nonetheless, of the 46 address matches, 25 were in Los Angeles, 8 in the Central California Valley, 7 in the San Francisco Bay area, 4 in San Diego, and 1 each in San Bernardino and Sacramento.' The verification process is under way - children are being interviewed, and some licenses are being suspended.' This "match up" procedure will surely miss the folks who got jobs under assumed names just to be nearer to children.It would seem that some people go to great lengths to be close to our kids...maybe we should be holding our kids even closer. More >>

Tags: AbuseChild AbuseMarriageSexSexuality
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05/13/2010
IconWith all the controversy about inappropriate sex (single women having babies out-of-wedlock on purpose, child sexual abuse in various religious orders, kids performing oral sex in middle school classrooms, etc.), it's nice to know that I can share with you a positive, healthy, and utterly lovely sexual story.Nancy K (I'm protecting her privacy!) wrote: I'd like to respond to your radio program caller who, sadly, had sex with his wife about once every three to six months due to an over-packed lifestyle.' I've been married for 27 years to a great guy.' We've had our ups and downs-family troubles, kid troubles, you name it - some of them pretty devastating,' but our marriage has survived due to commitment, faith in God, and the intimacy that holds us together when the storms hit. Since I can remember, we have sex every other day...yes, you read correctly.' Barring serious illness or surgery, even during the early years when our kids were young, through the teen years when we had kids all over the house, and now through the college years when my kids come home to visit, we have kept this pattern.' It has not always been easy!' Sometimes, we need to be creative.We have a lock on our door, and a television in the bedroom as a sound buffer.' We have even "snuck" away from our home for a quick evening in a local, cheap hotel, and returned before bedtime, all for the price of a dinner and a movie out.' Sometimes, he drops by at lunch, if he's out on a customer call, or I meet him. I estimate that to be approximately 4,914 sessions!' Mind you, not all of these times are steamy hours of sex.' Some last only minutes, but the connection is there, and I can say with confidence that I challenge anything or anyone to come between us, because we are truly one. When marriages allow all the intimacy to be sucked out of their lives, they will not have anything to cling to when trouble comes, and it will come in some form during your marriage.' I don't always feel like having sex, but I always feel like being close to him, and by seeing the best in my man, respecting him and his needs, and honoring him.' I find that I can almost always get "in the mood" because he values me. My hubby bought me "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" as a little gift one day - and I read it and loved it.' I picked up some new pointers, and used it as a refresher course to jump-start an already-good marriage. I quoted this letter in full because I believe that the most devastating aspect of a marriage is one in which the spouses take each other for granted, serve their own moods or desires, and don't wake up every day wondering what they can do to make the other's life worth living. More >>

Tags: MarriageSexSexuality
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05/13/2010
IconOnce Mom and Dad have covered the $45,000 for room, board and tuition at Yale University, the students get to compete free to win a porn-star "look-alike" contest as part of the school's "Sex Week," which also includes learning and using various sex toy gadgets and tips on making your dorm room a college love pad.The rationale, as we've often heard before, is that they're probably gonna "do it" anyway, and this way, they'll have information on how to do it properly.' You mean there's a "proper" way to hook up?' Oh, yeah, use a condom for your genitals.' But what do you do for your soul and psyche' after mis using your sexuality so frivolously?Let's hear it for the reputation of "Yalies" who come to school to become leaders. There are those at Yale who are not so amused: "Call me a curmudgeon, but I find that my daily ritual of waking up with a cup of coffee, a cigarette, and a copy of the Yale Daily News is a little less pleasant when a smiling freshman holding a" [sexual aid'too graphic to mention] "is staring back at me from the front page..." -- Blogger Will Wilson wrote on the Yale Free Press blog. ( FoxNews.com, 2/15/08 ).Seems that Yale is just trying to keep up with the other "party" schools. More >>

Tags: EducationSexSexuality
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05/13/2010
IconLast week, I posted a blog entitled "Accidental Sex?" in which I commented about an article in Seventeen Magazine entitled " Shocking Ways You Could Get Pregnant By Accident ."'I got an email from a listener who had written to Seventeen to complain about the article.' She sent me a copy of their response, or as she said: "let's be sure not to alienate anyone, was their bottom line.' Good grief!"'Good grief, indeed.' I'll let you be the judge.' Here's the letter from Seventeen: Thank you for your letter.' We are very interested in all of your comments, questions and concerns. Seventeen has a readership of millions of girls, and it is our mission, indeed our obligation, to give these girls information, entertainment and advice they can turn to.' As the oldest magazine in existence for teenagers, we also have 60 years of experience in talking to them and finding ways of getting them to listen.' We have found that when teens feel they are being lectured, condescended to, or getting nothing but "don'ts," they stop listening. What we attempt to do in every article is to give teens basic facts and warnings, in an effort to make sure that if they do decide to take a step, like to become sexually active, they are aware of the most likely issues and safety conditions and will at least think twice about what they are doing and try to do it in the most responsible way possible. We at Seventeen work as best we can to get the right kind of message across without alienating readers.' We will continue to try to give our readers advice that works, and to serve them as well as we can. Thanks again for writing us. Sincerely, The Editors More >>

Tags: EducationFamily/Relationships - TeensInternet-MediaInternet/MediaParentingSchoolSexSexualityTeens
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05/13/2010
IconAny woman who has ever been pregnant knows how absurd it is when we hear about some young woman who did not know she was pregnant until the moment at which she is giving birth to a full-term baby.' Preposterous, of course.' Its more like she's not willing to take responsibility.' Well, the February issue of Seventeen magazine focuses on "Shocking Ways You Could Get Pregnant By Accident."' Huh?The cover piece does mention the option of not having sex, and even points out that "studies show that girls who have a big plan for their future are significantly less likely to get pregnant," but the main focus of the magazine article is not about how to avoid sex simply because you feel all tingly and your girlfriends are doing it or the guy tells you that you won't be popular if you don't.' It's mainly about accepting that it'll probably happen, so this is how you talk him into a condom or how you take the pill (which, by the way, does not protect against sexually-transmitted diseases)."...sex is a natural, healthy and fun part of loving relationships."' That is a fact.' What Seventeen does not take an entire issue to explain is that every time you feel butterflies or are hot for someone, it isn't love.' The issue does not spend page after page extolling the virtues of mature awe, respect, admiration, friendship, trust, etc., which take years to develop and can really only take place once you're a mature adult.Surely Seventeen magazine knows that the number one issue for teens is acceptance and fitting in.' To be such a formidable influence in the lives of teens and to be so remiss in cheating them out of the blessings of true intimacy - instead, touting the fulfillment of urges as love justifying sex - is a sad, irresponsible, and disgusting misuse of their power. More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - TeensInternet-MediaInternet/MediaParentingSexSexualityTeens
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05/13/2010
IconI got these two emails the other day, and they came in almost back to back.' And I'm sad to say that I "get" it.' You're going to be horrified.'Kristen wrote: "My best friend and I were in the car the other day and heard a radio advertisement for a new dating service' (more like a disservice). It isn't your typical dating site, no, no; this site is for those looking to commit adultery. Their slogan? 'When Monogamy Becomes Monotony.' The tab on my internet browser even labeled it 'Married Dating.' Apparently dating these days isn't just for single folks anymore.' The first thing that popped into my head was, 'Boy I wonder how long it will take for someone to call Dr. Laura to tell her how they found this site on their spouse's 'favorites' list.' What a shame! I am proud to say that because of your sound advice and my early commitment to 'The Proper Care & Feeding Of Husbands,' my soon-to-be husband, of this July, would never consider such a "dating service."' Keep up the GREAT work Dr. Laura.' If anyone can combat the irresponsible use of such a filthy site, it's you!" Well, I thought that was well taken.' But, you see, she read and has committed to' "The Proper Care & Feeding Of Husbands."Then this came in , from a guy whose name I won't give, but after reading this, you'll understand who's going to be calling the "When You're Married" dating site.' He said: I heard, on your show yesterday that this guy stood up to the plate, helped his wife when she was sick, and what she did to say thank you for her appreciation.' I thought I would do something nice for my wife as we have been more like roommates rather that husband and wife. So when she came home the other night, I had dinner started; I asked her how her day had gone.' I made dinner: pasta, home made sauce, a nice salad, a glass of wine.' When she was done I cleaned up and while she was watching TV, I filled the tub with lots of bubbles, and' lit candles all around the top. (It is a big tub and two can fit in very easily.)' I poured two glasses of wine, got her robe and said, 'Close your eyes and come with me.'' She followed me into the bathroom and saw what I had done and said,' Are you crazy?' Is this supposed to get me excited about being intimate with you? I don't know what you were thinking, but I am tired and I don't need this.'' Anyway,I am sure someone out there would have appreciated the gesture. I think this is why guys wake up and say, I have had enough."' And then they call dating sites, and crank up porn, and have affairs.'When I wrote "The Proper Care & Feeding Of Husbands," everybody wanted to know why I didn't have "The Proper Care & Feeding Of Wives."' And I said that women control everything in intimate relationships,' and that it was much easier for a woman to change a man's mood, than it was for a man to change a woman's mood.' For example: A man comes home after a very bad day.' His wife greets him at the door, in some scanty negligee, and says "Honey, lets go make mad, passionate love."' The guy goes brain dead about his day, and has a great night.'A woman, however, comes home after a bad day.' Guy meets her in the altogether, and says, "Baby, let's go make mad, passionate love." And she's going to sound just like this wife: "Are you crazy?' Is this supposed to make me excited about being intimate with you? I don't know what you were thinking, but I am tired and I don't need this."' That would be the more typical response, because we women don't give up our moods that quickly.' We embrace them, with talons sunk in deep.' So, yeah.' I know it sounds shocking, but I know why there are sites where you can get some action.' Because, wherever there isn't the proper care and feeding of husbands, there's somebody that's going to log into one of those sites.' A husband who sets up the night like this guy did, whose wife goes, "Ooh, honey"' is never going to log into any of those sites.' Because he's got everything: wife, mother of his children, lover, and best friend...' There's nothing left to look for. More >>

Tags: AbuseChild AbuseMarriageSexSexuality
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05/13/2010
IconLondon's Daily Mail reports that a Cambridge University study has found that the more sex partners students have, the lower their grades.' The online study was published in the student magazine Varsity , and compiled results based on answers from more than 1,000 Cambridge University students.The study found that medical students were among those with the most sexual partners, and that mathematicians had the fewest partners.It's scary to think that the average physician's learning efforts dropped with his/her increased number of sexual partners.' I wonder if that will be one of the questions listed on the online physicians' assessments available for public view? More >>

Tags: EducationSexSexuality
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05/13/2010
Icon"But why should I have to do 'X' when I don't feel like it?"That is by far the single most expressed sentiment to excuse oneself from fulfilling obligations to others. Feelings have been elevated from the mercurial and temporary to positions of absolute truth and power. "I feel that..." is most always used when one actually is expressing thoughts, beliefs, opinions, guesses, and concerns.One of the most typical problems in marriages is not religion, politics or finances - it's the issue of sexuality. For the most part, the pattern is that a man and woman have a great out-of-wedlock sexual relationship, full of passion and spontaneity. Once married, and especially once children come on the scene, too many women "feel" less and less like being their husband's lover and girlfriend. I have talked to hundreds, if not thousands, of women over the more than thirty years I've been on radio, and the story is always the same: "I'm just too tired...or...annoyed to feel like having sex." I ask them what they expect their husbands to do. "Be understanding," they say.I then ask these wives if they would suggest their husbands take advantage of a hooker, Internet porn, or a girlfriend on the side to fulfill their needs for affection and sexual activity. Once I get their attention...I move on to several points: 1. If there is "too much on your plate," cut stuff out. You cannot properly maintain a marital relationship when you leave almost no time and energy for it. That means that full-time jobs, children, a home, and your parents and friends take up your life and leave no room for the man who would give his life for you. This is also a breach of your vows to love and honor. 2. There are lots of things you don't feel like doing - but you do them anyway because you have obligations to others. Your husband doesn't feel like visiting your mother, taking you shopping, listening to your repetitive stories and gripes about your sister, going out for tampons, and so forth - but he does it anyway because he loves you . Imagine a world where everybody only did what they felt like doing??? 3. I never wake up feeling like working out, but I get up anyway. I put on my workout clothes, get some water, and start pumping weights. Once I get started, I feel very good about what I'm doing and how it is impacting my body. Well, once you get into foreplay, you'll probably start getting into it too! That means you need to take a nice shower or bath, use some sweet-smelling perfume or body powder, put on something adorable and start flirting with your man - it won't take long for you TO FEEL LIKE IT! 4. Life is short - never turn down a perfectly good orgasm- on your death bed, you'll regret it. There is hardly a better way to reconnect and reaffirm your love and attachment - this is the ultimate bonding technique. 5. You made vows to "love and cherish," so do it or don't expect much in return. That means, don't call me complaining about no Valentine's or Anniversary present when you haven't treated your man like your man and your lover . If you don't make the effort to make him feel special to you - don't expect it in return. More >>

Tags: CharacterCharacter-Courage-ConscienceMarriageSexSexualityValues
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