I received an unexpected gift from reading your book “Surviving a Shark Attack (On Land).” In the five years since my divorce, I’ve struggled with the “need” to forgive my ex-spouse for betraying our marriage vows, in order that I could move on. Even though she has told our kids she wants me to “forgive and forget,” I haven’t felt okay about doing so.
After 11 years of marriage, my ex-wife decided (without telling me) that she didn’t want to be married to me anymore. She began to act as if she weren’t married – staying out late with new friends, having an “emotional” affair, and then blaming me for the failure of our marriage. I recognize so much of her in your description of betrayers.
Reading your book helped me understand that some betrayals are unforgivable and that I’m not a bad person if I do not forgive. I’m not stuck in “victimhood,” and continue to derive great pleasure in my work helping others, in being around true friends, and focusing on our three teenaged children.
Steve
I Don’t Have to Forgive To Move On