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Email of the Day: My Husband's Dating Test

By Dr. Laura on September 20, 2023
A pencil sits on top of a test bubble sheet filled in with hearts

My husband and I met when we were in our fifties. Our children were grown and gone, and we both felt lucky to have a second chance at happiness.


When I asked him why he thought our marriage was so successful, he told me something I hadn’t heard before. He said β€œFor me, I knew you would be the one when on that cold winter night, you slid across the seat of my old pickup truck to open the locked door before I could get the key in the lock.” With a big smile, he said he learned about the β€œkeeper test” from the movie A Bronx Tale. He tried it out on two other women who he thought might be possibilities, but I was the only one who made the effort that day, and I continue to make the extra effort every day.


The extra effort is based on two concepts you suggested. The first is that β€œlove” is a verb. I couldn’t believe how small actions, like simple shoulder rubs or bringing him a cold glass of water on a hot day made such a difference. The second action I follow is before I walk in the door after having a bad day, saying to myself β€œWould I want to come home to me?” The result of this attitude is a husband who continues to spoil me with little extras like cleaning the house (he even does windows!). To the women who think that jewelry, birthday or Valentine’s Day flowers make a marriage, how mistaken they are. I have that shiny jewelry too, but mine is called looking at a beautiful sunrise through those squeaky clean windows.




My Husband's Dating Test


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