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09/16/2013
Hello Dr Laura,
I implore you to continue reminding all of your listeners to uphold marriage as a sacred commitment and shun shacking up situations.
A bit of background: I'm 42 and my fiancé is 47 - neither of us has been married previously. I have one daughter in post-secondary education and my fiancé has no children. I was very stupid and young and shacked up for 2 years. I remained single after my daughter's bio-dad split for greener pastures. Now after many years of raising my daughter alone and 2 years of dating, my fiancé and I are excited to marry next year. We cannot wait to exchange vows and become husband and wife.
The topic of marriage arose while my sister was visiting last night. She has never been married and has no children, however, is currently shacking up for 17 years with a guy who had a nasty divorce, an awful time having access to his 2 kids and is adamant that he would never marry again. In my sister's eyes, their relationship ain't broke so don't fix it. I pointed out to her that marriage is a commitment of loving, nurturing and honoring your spouse and your vows for the rest of your life.
The conversation quickly escalated into a ferocious argument of feminist diatribe, proclaiming that she and her shack-up guy exchanged vows in private to each other. Shockingly enough she went so far as to say that their living together was as equal and committed as my fiancé's parents' marriage of 50 years. The only difference between the relationships was the length of time and the piece of paper.
Even more ridiculous if that's possible, my sister and her stud have been wearing gold bands the past few years, giving the appearance of marriage to anyone they encounter. I told her I was disgusted that they put on a show of commitment when they clearly think it's a joke. Her only response was that she didn't care whatsoever what people thought. Our own parents were married for many years before our dad passed away so I just don't get that feminist attitude at all.
So now I sit here and plan my wedding. I at least know there will be 2 less people to share in our special day. It saddens me because I've waited a long, long time for the right man to marry and wouldn't settle for less now, even if I did once before. I cannot imagine spending my life without my fiancé and we will honor our vows and each other every single day.
I'm so sick of people like my sister and her shack-up who want the world to view them as married, but sneer at exchanging vows of love and fidelity and honor. To equate that with a loving marriage that is still going strong after a half century makes me want to vomit in my morning coffee. What an insult to those who lovingly nurture their true commitment of marriage.
Keep up the awesome work!!
Lynn
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