Dr. Laura, America's #1 Relationship Talk Radio Host
On: SiriusXM Stars Channel 109
Call 1-800-DR LAURA (1-800-375-2872) 11am - 2pm PT
Image 01 Image 02
Dr. Laura Blog
Conversation vs. Confrontation
05/13/2010
IconLet's talk about having conversations.  You read that right - I didn't goof and actually mean confrontation , which typically is what I hear most about on my radio program.  It is not a good plan to think of trying to communicate something delicate or important to someone by approaching them through the lenses of battle, which is what confrontation implies.There are ways to deal with another person on difficult issues that don't necessarily feel like the throwing down of a gauntlet (an attack against which they have to be defensive).  The moment you get someone's defenses up, the quicker the whole situation degenerates into a "lose/lose" predicament, usually making things even worse than they were.If the information is to a loved one, start out with a "Sweetie" or "Honey" or something that sets the tone as one of friendship, love or caring.  Continue with the explanation that it is to improve the situation that you're coming to them (because you don't want the relationship hurt by misunderstandings or errors in judgment or word choice).   Then they know that you are not attacking them, but you are trying to preserve the relationship and they will be more open to hearing your point of view.It's also important to start out with some verbal "gift," i.e., that you compliment them with sincerity by suggesting that you understand what their position might be, but that you're confused, hurt, upset or worried that ________ [fill in the blank].  Remind them what you've meant to each other and how you want that to continue, and that this is a glitch which can be remedied with mutual consideration and understanding.If you're up against a reasonable, caring individual, things will go well. If you're up against an un reasonable, self-centered human being, things will go well if you walk away.Rule number "PRE-one:"  Don't wait for emotions to fester.  Handle things as they happen before you work yourself up to the point that you can't be reasonable.
Tags: Behavior, Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Courtesy, Friendships, Morals, Ethics, Values, Personal Responsibility, Values
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
< Back to Dr. Laura Blog Archives
Make an Appointment
Stay Connected
or connect at a place below
Normal Gear
Latest Poll
Which of the following best describes your history of fidelity?
I have had people cheat on me...
I have had affairs in the past...
I have cheated in the past but am currently loyal to my partner..
I have never cheated...
I don't believe in being monogamous...
Archives  |  Results
Programs
About Dr. Laura
Letters
E-mail of the Day
From Listeners
Audio & Video
YouTube Videos
Stay at Home
Parenting
Relationships
Simple Savings
Work at Home
Tip of the Week
Subscription
Membership
Help & Support
Family Premium Help Center
Podcast Help
Contact Us
Legal
Terms of Use
© 2018 DrLaura.com. Take on the Day, LLC
Dr. Laura is a registered trademark of Take On The Day, LLC.
Terms & Conditions  |  Privacy Policy
Powered By Nox Solutions