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Email of the Day
I'm Done Playing Referee
I'm Done Playing Referee
11/10/2017

Dr. Laura:

For as long as I can remember, I have been my parents' therapist. I was the one who fixed any big argument between them, and now I'm a mom of two boys, and a very happy wife to a wonderful man. I put so much into trying to make sure my parents stayed happy and married, however, that I totally breached my OWN vows by putting their "messed up" relationship before my own marriage.

I had an "aha moment" when I realized I actually didn't want to give up the power I had over my parents' relationship, so that's the reason I kept up the betrayal of my own vows. Once I was aware of this, I knew I'd be headed for divorce if I didn't change. So I did a complete 180 degree turn and told my parents flat out that I couldn't be their psychologist anymore and if they couldn't just be my parents without needing my advice, then I would no longer be able to communicate with them. They decided to completely dump me, calling me a "bad daughter."

I'm finally doing the right thing, and boy, has my marriage improved. My husband and I are happier than we've ever been, and I apologized to him for my past behavior. The reason I'm writing is that I came to my revelation by hearing you give someone else in a situation not unlike mine that advice. So I have you to thank for waking me up. I've made peace with the fact that my parents aren't well and aren't a part of my life anymore. They threw out a perfectly good daughter, and I know it's not me - it's them. You showed me the way to handle this.

Needless to say, my husband has quickly become a Dr. Laura fan. You have helped change our lives in a dramatic way, even though you never actually talked to ME on the air. I will be listening forever!

Joely
Tags: Bad Childhood-Good Life, Marriage, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Values
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