Dr. Laura
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Letters From Listeners
It Took A While to Sink In
It Took A While to Sink In

My life completely changed 8 years ago. I was married, had 2 children, a career that kept me in the office 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. While I was in my office I always listened to you. I had a wonderful Nanny raising my children, but when I would talk to my husband about staying at home with my kids, he would just laugh. I obviously was not going about this the correct way.

Then, one day I got a slap on the face. I found out my husband was having an affair with a married mother of 2 from my kids' elementary school. I was devastated. I wanted to work this out, he was my husband and the father of my children. One week later, I was laid off of my job of 12 years. One week after that I turned 40 (I thought that was going to be my highlight of the year). As it turned out, my husband wanted out. My kids were only 8 & 5.

We get along great now, he is on his 2nd divorce to yet another woman. I did not have the energy to put on a suit and a happy face to look for a job. Soooo, I started my own business from home! I have been able to work out of my house and be with my children. I feel God had a hand in this, knowing my kids would be better off having me home while their dad was gone. My oldest is going off to college next year and both are doing exceptional at school (an all girls' high school).

I have learned from you and my own experience, one may be able to do it all, career, marriage, mother, but one cannot do them all well. My marriage fell apart. 8 years ago, I would cry and ask God to end my life. I now say he did end the life I had and gave me a better one. I have been able to be my own boss and be there for my daughters. I have not dated - I don't believe that is being a good role model, especially when raising girls.

I was proud of my college bound daughter when I overheard her conversation about careers with her sister. My 14 year old was saying she does not want to be dependent on a man - but my 18 year old replied, "I'm ok with having a husband who can support me while I raise our children." Though I listened to you for years, I was not functioning as I should have. But now I am! Maybe after all those years it finally sunk in.


Tags: Divorce, Marriage, Morals, Ethics, Values, Parenting, SAHM stay-at-home mom, Values
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