Dear Dr. Laura,
I was listening to an in-depth interview on PBS radio with Patricia Heaton (Debra on "Everyone Loves Raymond") and she told a story from her past:
She had been married for many years (and still is) and landed a role where she had to kiss another man. She said in this role she had to "pretend" she was very much in love with her co-star. After many kisses, she suddenly felt a spark because of this play acting to love this man. She said he felt it too and they said "No way." Interestingly enough, she said she learned by that experience to use that technique at home with her husband, to "pretend" with him when things are down and guess what it works!
I know you have told your listeners basically the same thing.