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Letters From Listeners
Single Motherhood - More Often It's Poor Choices
Single Motherhood - More Often It's Poor Choices
05/14/2013


Hi,

I listen to the show on Sirius/XM as I drive between client locations. I rarely disagree with -- more often agree with -- what you say. Sometimes, like your recent topic on  "Single Mothers", it is as if you are reaching inside my brain and pulling the thoughts out to say on the radio. 

Twice in approximately the past year, my Twitter timeline has exploded with angry single mothers, (and their male defenders hoping they can make enough points to get in their women's pants), viciously attacking me with various vulgarities for saying just about what you said. It often stems from a woman complaining about the man they chose to have a child with and then saying their kid is better off without a father in their life. It usually ends with the single mother declaring their love for their child and how they would do anything for their child. To which my responses are variants of: 

"Except pick a good, non-druggy, non-alcoholic man to have a child with."
"Except put aside your own feelings and make a good home for the children."
"Except change the behaviors that make you and the father not get along."
"Except give up your drugs and alcohol…"

I always make it a point to stress that the same goes for the men. (I hold the men to a high standard and make no excuses for their reprehensible behavior.) I also always stress that the preferred situation, the best possible arrangement for the children, is a loving mother and loving father working together to make a good home for the children. I concede that, yes, children can be raised by one or the other and sometimes it is unavoidable. But, more often than not, it is poor choices. And, it is never better and it is not the preferred choice.

The response is never pretty. The degree of hatred and vile nature of the replies is amazing. The length to which some people will go to defend their poor choices and deny the damage they are doing to their children is only surpassed by the viciousness and vulgarity of their responses. They respond with the same emotions and "feelings" that got them into the situation; instead of logic and discernment that would have saved them and their children future heartache.

Your monologue made me feel a little more heartened that, no matter the hatred heaped upon me, I need to continue to speak the hard truth in the hopes that it will get some women (and men) to wake up and make a better life for their children. 

Mark
Tags: Character-Courage-Conscience, Character/Courage/Conscience, Morals/Ethics/Values, Parenting, Response to a Comment, Values
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