You probably have no idea how much you have been imprinted against your will by your parents' relationships and how that affects your relationships. Patterns from your childhood repeat because your brain sets down those patterns as a way of experiencing and dealing with relationships.
If the version of being cared for in your house meant dismissal, rejection or invalidation, then that's what you are familiar with. Therefore, if you repeatedly find yourself in unhealthy, combative, painful or unsatisfying relationships, you are simply repeating history.
How do you break these patterns and heal yourself? It's actually quite simple: You need to force yourself to be with healthy men or women
, and make new synaptic connections, which will eventually become familiar. You can't be sporadic. In order to change your wiring, you must consistently engage in new experiences. Until you are healthy in your own mind, you won't be attracted to anyone healthy, and nobody healthy will be attracted to you.