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Blog: Why Wait to Have Sex?

By Dr. Laura on June 5, 2023
Woman with closed eyes kisses man with closed eyes

People who engage in sex before or within the first few weeks of dating have lower levels of relationship satisfaction, communication and stability than those who wait longer. Why? Because casual sex is lust over love. Without a foundation, the excitement of the passion wanes, and the relationship crumbles.


Most women want the first time they have sex with a man to be mind-blowing, special and something that brings them closer together. However, there is no love or commitment early on in a relationship, so none of those needs are met. I find it remarkable how many women would not entrust their apartment keys to a guy they just met (even if it’s just to water their plants) and yet, give no thought to exposing themselves to STDs and unplanned pregnancies. 


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Contrary to what you see in the movies, people simultaneously orgasming 20 minutes after meeting each other rarely happens in real life. First-date sex is usually awkward, and it runs on his timeline β€” if you get my drift. Plus, there isn’t that much warm-up because there isn’t that much caring to give you a warm-up.


Nothing has changed in the double standard. The more sexual partners a guy has had, the less he thinks of women and the sex he has with them. Guys know that the quicker they can get you to bed, the less wifey material you are. You may be humping for a few years or even shacking up, but there’s no true emotional bond. Men don’t value what they don’t have to work hard for.


If you want a healthy relationship, you should charge a high price for sex - the price being attention, care and commitment.  


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