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Values
05/13/2010
IconLet me just start out by saying that women are not inherently dumb.' But, gosh darn it, some of us do some pretty dumb things...especially in the name of "beauty."' I am charmed by the way that Joan Rivers makes fun of her own predicament with one too many way too tight face lifts on a television commercial....she grabs her face and questions whether or not she's smiling because she can no longer feel her face to sense her own expressions.' That's funny - but the odd look of her face isn't.I get too many women calling my radio show wanting permission to get all sorts of things done to their bodies to seem more attractive when, in fact, their husbands couldn't care less...they just want more loving access to their wives' sensual bodies...imperfect or not!' It rarely seems to matter that their husbands lust for them just the way they are.' Astonishing.Now women are lining up for torn tendons and ligaments as well as herniated discs by wearing higher and higher heeled and platformed shoes -- 6 to 8 -- inch stilettos are selling like crazy.' These shoes, which feature peep-toes, have been made popular by important role models such as Victoria Beckham, Jennifer Lopez and Jessica Simpson.' It would appear that women want to imitate sex symbols, without necessarily being sexual with the men who love, adore, support and protect them.' So what is it?' Women want to look good to other women but not their own men?Men do like women in high-heels, because they are daring and show off the curves of a woman's legs.' In fact, the stiletto was invented in the 1950's by Salvatore Ferragamo for the sex siren, Marilyn Monroe.' However, her heels never went over 3 inches...and that somehow didn't stop women from copying the style, or men from drooling over her image.'''''Having the fashion industry push the limits of shoe heel height just to start a new trend to make more money is free commerce...having women be so foolish as to respond positively is just plain dumb.''''It gets dumber: some women (older but definitely not more mature), are getting injections of a cosmetic filler such as Restylane or Juvederm to plump up the balls of their feet so they can more comfortably wear these ridiculous shoes...that makes them more comfortable, but definitely not safer.''''The last time women were this dumb was in the 15th century in Europe when upper-class women wore 11 inch high blocky platforms called Chopines.' They had to have servants on each arm to help them walk without falling.''''There may be a price to pay for beauty, as the saying goes, but the price shouldn't be giving up good sense or good health.' And I wish more women who are wives would spend more time concerned with what their husbands want to see of them than what Jessica Simpson is wobbling around on. More >>

Tags: Social IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconI had an interesting call just the other day.' A husband and wife, each on their second marriages, called because the family dog, a dachshund, was consumed by a coyote.' The wife wanted to know how or if she could ever forgive her husband for this "National Geographic" moment.' It seems they've been feuding for quite a while: he doesn't like the dog to pee in the backyard and make the grass yellow; she doesn't like the dog to be loose in the street to pee because he could get eaten.'While these two were fighting, the dog got eaten.The righteousness in her presentation was astounding. It seemed she was willing to dismiss yet another marriage because she labeled her husband responsible for the dog's demise as he let the dog out.I asked her who the 'alpha' person in the dog's life was - every dog, no matter how attached to all family members, identifies the 'alpha' person as its owner and "main squeeze."' She immediately jumped in to say it was just everybody's dog.' He quietly offered that she had the dog before they married.' Oops!I then told her that she was responsible for the dog's death as she was not taking responsibility to walk the dog three or so times a day for its exercise and for it to eliminate itself where (a) it wouldn't damage their home property and (b) she could make sure the dog was safe.' That she was sad her dog was dead was reasonable; that she was looking for a cause of this event was reasonable; that she was blaming other than herself in combination with what is "nature's way" was plainly unreasonable.I suggested she apologize to her husband and promise, should she want another dog, to take personal responsibility for that animal.This leads me to a recent news headline, "Icelanders irate at lenders who ruined country." It seems that only one year after winning the United Nation's "best country to live in" poll, with its residents rated the most contented in the world, the result of a country's decision to swap cod fishing for a complex debt-laden economy exacted a heavy toll.They were encouraged by the government to upgrade to a more luxurious lifestyle by buying houses and cars that were financed by 100 percent loans with extraordinarily low interest rates based not on their own money, the strong krona, but based upon a spread of foreign currencies.According to news reports, "Icelanders are also increasingly angry, looking for somewhere to point blame for the country's spectacular fall."' "Somebody has to take responsibility," said one father complaining that his son has lost his savings.It took one 21 year old print machinist, Alvin Zogu, to give the most mature response: "We can learn from what they did wrong.' We can make better decisions." While governments and banks can offer "pie in the sky," it takes the individual decision to gorge themselves with pie while dangling in the air to cause the ultimate fall. More >>

Tags: ChildrenParentingPersonal ResponsibilityValues
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05/13/2010
IconOne television show I'm both intrigued by and ambivalent about is called House .' It's a medical drama in which the main character, a physician, is a diagnostic genius...except that he almost kills his patients a number of times until he brilliantly deduces the correct problem.One problem he and his associates always have in diagnosing these strange presenting disorders is that, as Dr. House says, "everybody lies."' It would seem that patients will withhold information essential to their proper treatment because of shame, guilt, embarrassment or to get out of some potential problem -- even if it threatens their lives!' Sometime during the one-hour drama, for better or worse, the truth comes out.' Moral debates sometimes arise about the value of truth and honesty.During my radio program, I have often cautioned people about being too flippant with honesty...it is, in fact, not always the best policy.' For example, "Your child is ugly and below average in intelligence!" or "Aging is sure being mean to you...look at all the wrinkles between your chin and your chest!"' Now, they may be honest assessments, but must all truths be spoken if they are going to hurt someone with no reasonable or positive motivation or intent?' My answer is, "no."' My answer is to find something sweet and kind to say...there always are those aspects of a person or a situation.However, there are circumstances where the truth is essential; and sadly, so few of our young people believe that is so.' Every school age child in America knows that a sitting, married President looked right into the television news cameras and lied about having had a sexual relationship with a young, single intern.' What was astonishing was how quickly his supporters and political party members were to dismiss this kind of lying since it was "personal."'It's funny how "personal" impacts the world.' ABC News produced a story about college cheating using the most advanced devices our technology has to offer.' The piece centered on a Texas college freshman, Kiko Kho, who had used a see-through plastic pen, opened up the back and slipped in a strip of paper with vocabulary words on it so that she would pass her French exam.' If you think it is remarkable that she admitted all this to a reporter...hang on to something...she posted a video on YouTube detailing how she'd pulled off her cheat that received more than 120,000 hits.' Did she show remorse and argue against cheating?' Nope.' She did admit "it's not a good thing to cheat," followed up quickly by "everybody has done it."'''''Our young people watch television political talk and debates and hear time and time again..."that's not true,"' "that's false," or "that's a lie."' When I was a child all I heard about was that President George Washington didn't lie about that cherry tree...that was something to aspire to!In Jasper, Indiana, two of three challengers for a congressional seat have agreed to be hooked up to lie detectors during an October 21 debate, but an official with the incumbent's party dismissed the idea.' The Republican Party Chairman made this proposal to Democratic Incumbent and the GOP and Libertarian challengers.' The only one who declined to comment was the Democratic Incumbent...now that just looks bad.I think all political debaters, product promoters, attorneys, teachers, scientists, and students in exams should take advantage of lie detection technology...and that's the truth! More >>

Tags: Internet-MediaInternet/MediaMorals, Ethics, ValuesPersonal ResponsibilityTelevisionValues
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05/13/2010
IconIn response to last Thursday's (10/9/08) blog , in which I was critical of the Department of Feminist Studies at the University of California's Santa Barbara campus (and all those in the USA for that matter), I received a personal letter from Leila J. Rupp, Professor of Feminist Studies and Associate Dean of Social Sciences which confirmed that I was right in assuming that they would never invite me to address their students.' She writes: "You're right if all you have to offer is indoctrination.' We are interested in education." To reiterate my "points of indoctrination," I wondered whether this Feminist Studies program would be all inclusive: Is it going to be critical or celebratory over home-making, traditional family values, home schooling, religion, mothering only after marriage, qualities of a good wife, at-home mothering, avoiding divorce (except in cases of abuse, addiction or affairs) and choosing adoption over abortion? I also suggested avoiding abortion as birth control, "shacking up," friends with "benefits," and buying the lie that hired help and day care are equivalent or superior to a Mommy.It is amazing how these simple concepts have become "indoctrination" and controversial.' If these issues cannot be presented, what in the heck does the Feminist Studies program call "diversity?"' Perhaps it's just different ethnicities all saying the same thing. More >>

Tags: ChildrenParentingSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconEnough already with the over-reaction to the Sarah Palin cover picture on Newsweek .I first learned of this so-called serious issue watching Fox News in the morning.' One of their hosts, a gorgeous blonde, was holding up the magazine and the camera zoomed in on the cover, and I thought it was...fine.' It shows Mrs. Palin close up, with about 60% of her face exposed.' Frankly, I think it's a nice shot.'The complaints from the news hosts were that it wasn't retouched to take away the deepness of the marionette lines between nose and mouth and the slight creping around her eyes.My first reaction was, "Give me a break...that's what she looks like at her age with her facial contours.' It's real and she doesn't look bad at all - she happens to be a pretty woman."The hosts then flashed a prior Newsweek cover with Obama...at more of a distance without one obvious facial flaw and a light diffusing from the top of his head, which made him look like a moment in the movie The Ten Commandments -- the halo effect told a lot about the "messiah-like" impression that this publication was attempting to create to influence the readership.While I am not supportive of Mrs. Palin for the Vice-Presidency, as I have made clear in a previous blog , I am also not supportive of media manipulation to subliminally impact the populace to vote for the party of the media's choice.' That said, it is the Obama cover that should be criticized, not Palin's...hers is at least a real rendition of a real human being.I recently took a new set of head shots and publicity photos for an upcoming book (" In Praise of At-Home Moms ") and other promotional purposes.' When I first saw them, I just about cried.' Where did all those crow's feet, laugh lines, and creping of neck skin come from?' I work out hard most days of the week so my muscles and flexibility are amazing.' Working out and eating correctly are under my control.' Getting weekly facials to keep my skin clear and hydrated is under my control.' The changes one has through maturation (aka "aging") are not under my control.' I'm embarrassed to tell you that seeing those photos ruined my afternoon as I have never in my life before felt so womanly, sexy, and feminine!' The photos did not seem to match my inner image.The next day I looked at the photos again and - after sleeping on it and talking about it with my dearest friends - I just absolutely love them and told my business partner to make sure they were not air-brushed.' I never liked my current photos because they touched them up to remove all lines...making me, in my opinion, look absolutely bionic.' I love my new ones now because they are real and show me mature, attractive, happy, and, untouched, and make a statement about pride in oneself even with imperfections.So, to summarize, I like the Palin Newsweek photo. I disdain the liberal media's manipulations of Obama photos to further their political agenda.' And I love my new photos...you'll see 'em soon! More >>

Tags: PoliticsValues
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05/13/2010
IconAs long as you keep sending me stories like these, I'll continue to post them on this blog.' Today's email came from Lori: This is long overdue.' I started listening to your program 20 years ago, when I was in my twenties, newly married, and focused on my career.' I was in the middle of a graduate program that I had worked very hard to get into, when I got pregnant with my son.' I always thought your ideas that a parent should stay home with their child were ridiculous - I thought it was a crazy, backward notion.' That is what day care was for!! Then I had my son. He was six weeks old when I left him with a day care provider to continue my graduate program.' That was also the last time he was with a day care provider.' I physically and mentally could not stand to think that someone else was spending the day and providing for my son - something I should be doing and wanted to do.' After all, who could do it better?' My husband felt the same, so I quit graduate school and all my career plans went out the door so I could stay with my son full time.' While at first it wasn't easy, I can say without a doubt what a great decision that was! When my son and I went to the park or took a walk, I arranged it so I could listen to your radio program at the same time.' While I was sure about my decision, I had VERY LITTLE support from many others.' I got many comments or "put-downs" about what a waste of my life this was.' I felt like you were one of the few who supported me.' You were my advocate, and when I would feel especially down and question my decision, I would listen to you and it would lift me up, and I knew I was right. So, a belated thank you for what you gave me, my wonderfully supportive husband, and my son - who is now a smart, kind, funny, well-adjusted 16 year old.' Keep speaking up for us stay-at-home moms.' I can look back at that time of my life and say I absolutely have no regrets. More >>

Tags: choose wisely - treat kindlyChoose Wisely-Treat KindlyFamilyFamily/Relationships - ChildrenFamily/Relationships - FamilyMarriageMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingRelativesStay-At-Home-MomsValues
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05/13/2010
IconAs one of the most popular talk show hosts in radio history, Dr. Laura Schlessinger offers no-nonsense advice infused with a strong sense of ethics, accountability, and personal responsibility; she's been doing it successfully for more than 30 years, reaching approximately 8 million listeners weekly. Her internationally syndicated radio program is also heard on XM Satellite Radio , and is streamed on the Internet and podcast via StreamLink from her website: drlaura.com .Read more about Dr. Laura here . More >>

Tags: Quote of the WeekSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconFrom a listener to my radio program: Dr. Laura, I want to thank you for the special moments that you helped me have.' As a listener, my husband and I decided that I would stay home with our 2 month old baby boy even before he was born.' I must admit that it's hard financially, but we understand that our son is more important than luxury. Yesterday, I had a "tear-jerker" moment.' After feeding my son, I got up and started to clean the room.' After a while, I saw him moving.' He was putting his little hand above his head, feeling for the place where my arm had just been.' Then he stretched his arms and legs in front of him where I had been lying before.' I realized he was looking for me.' His little face began to prepare to cry.' I then placed my hand on his side.' "I'm right here, baby."' He then opened his eyes.' On seeing me, he smiled his gummy smile. I stayed there, smoothing out his hair, until he fell back to sleep, but I couldn't help thinking, what if I had been at work?' What if he was with a sitter or at day care?' I wouldn't have had that moment, and he wouldn't have been comforted. I know, because I used to work at a day care center - he would have been left crying, because he had been fed and his diaper had been changed. As an ex-day care worker, I know that children are not cared for lovingly.' They just have their physical needs met, but not their emotional needs. There were so many kids who called me "mommy," and that was only because I was doing her job while doing mine.' The fact was, "mommy" wasn't there.' But I was and am here for our son.' Thank you. More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingStay-At-Home-MomsValues
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Tags: CharityEthicsMorals, Ethics, ValuesPersonal ResponsibilitySexSexualityValues
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05/13/2010
IconFriday, September 19, 2008, I was reading the last page of the "Weekend Journal" in The Wall Street Journal .' It was adapted from a commencement speech given by David Foster Wallace to the 2005 graduating class at Kenyon College.' Mr. Wallace, 46, died'recently, an apparent suicide.I thought it odd that an entire page of The Wall Street Journal was dedicated to the musings of a man who opted out of life after giving advice to young people just beginning their adult foray into the trials and tribulations of existence.The main focus of his presentation to the students seemed to be on the issue of self-centeredness: "It is our default setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth.' Think about it:' there is no experience you've had that you were not at the absolute center of.' The world as you experience it is right there in front of you, or behind you, to the left or right of you, on your TV, or your monitor, or whatever.' Other people's thoughts and feelings have to be communicated to you somehow, but your own are so immediate, urgent, real - you get the idea.' But please don't worry that I'm getting ready to preach to you about compassion or other-directedness or the so-called 'virtues.'' This is not a matter of virtue - it is a matter of my choosing to do the work of somehow altering or getting free of my natural, hard-wired default setting, which is to be deeply and literally self-centered, and to see and interpret everything through this lens of self." First, he is "right on" with the hard-wiring of self-centeredness.' I remember my mother telling me once that when, as a teenager, she experienced the death of her mother from breast cancer, and was consumed with grief, that she looked out her window to see people outside driving, walking, talking, and going about their business as though nothing had happened.' She related feeling shocked that, somehow, the whole world did not stand still as did her own heart.It is obvious that, of course, we are the most absorbed by our immediate environment and experiences....which pretty much means ourselves.' However, Mr. Wallace's consistent dismissal of virtues is perhaps what was missing from his life. Seeing, acknowledging, and caring about others does not necessarily come naturally.' It is a virtue taught by parents and community as well as by religious teachings.' One of the most central aspects of religious training is to "love thy neighbor."' Why?' Just because it's "nice?"' No, although it is nice.' It is because caring for those outside yourself gives you a connectedness that minimized loneliness and a purpose which minimizes despair.Towards the end of his speech, he points out: "The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little un-sexy ways, every day.' That is real freedom." He then asks the audience to "please don't dismiss it as some finger-wagging Dr. Laura sermon.' None of this is about morality, or religion, or dogma or big fancy questions of life after death.' It is about making it to 30 or maybe 50, without wanting to shoot yourself in the head." So, in attempting to enlighten the young people about a bigger value in life - commitment and obligation to others - he came back to his essential hard-wiring:' it is all about living in a way which makes you not want to kill yourself.' Ironically, his thought process came all the way back to being self-centered.In eschewing morality, religion, dogma, considerations of eternity - all of which he assembled under "finger-wagging Dr. Laura sermon[s]," he disconnected himself from the kind of motivation, identification, support and spiritual reward which may have kept him from committing suicide.' Sad, really. More >>

Tags: AttitudeFeminismHealthMental HealthPersonal ResponsibilityPurposeSocial IssuesSuicideValues
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