Learning To Say No By Jill Savage "So how do you do it?" she asked. "Do what?" I replied. "How do you say NO?" she questioned. "I just say no," I answered. "No, I don't mean like that. Do you say no and offer an excuse or do you just say no? I feel so guilty when I say no." Thus began a recent conversation with a mom who called and asked how we keep our balance between volunteer activities and family responsibilities. As mothers at home it is not work and family we need to keep in balance. For many of us it is balancing volunteer positions (church, community, and school) with our family responsibilities. Some of us figure a home business or part-time job into our schedule, too. We can easily put ourselves back in the position of working full-time outside-the-home hours without bringing home the pay. We must learn the "N" word and how to use it effectively. Here are some guidelines for finding and keeping balance in your home: Remember that you are going to be asked more often, simply because you perceived to be more available. With many mothers working outside the home, there are less school, church, and community volunteers available during the day. Keep this in mind and remember that you alone know what is best for your family. Never say "Yes" on the spot. Always tell them you will call them back after you've had time to pray and think about it. This keeps you from regretting a quick on-the-spot decision you may regret later. You can say "No" on the spot if you know immediately that it will not work for you. When figuring a time commitment, make sure you figure in preparation time. Most of us underestimate the time it takes to really do a job. If they are asking you to bake 5 dozen cookies, look at the calendar and determine whether you truly have that much free time available before the cookies need to be delivered. If it looks too busy, tell them "no". When considering long-term commitments, make sure you figure all your household responsibilities into your time frame. It may seem that becoming the president of an organization you really believe in will not take too much time. But after a few months, the phone calls, meetings, and errands have begun to take up the time you previously used for laundry, housecleaning, or paying the bills. These are big jobs that need to be figured into your weekly and daily responsibilities. Don't allow your family responsibilities to be sacrificed for your volunteer responsibilities. Remember to figure in the "brain space" this responsibility will require. Have you ever been listening to your children, but really thinking about a new project or the hundreds of things you need to do? When your mind is cluttered, you are not mentally available to your family. It is important to remember that every minute of your day does not have to be scheduled. If you have a "doer" mentality, you will think of a spare hour or two as a way to fit in one more "yes". In reality, we need some time to do nothing. If you need to, schedule in "down time" each day. Write it on your calendar and say "No" to anything that would jeopardize that time. Set a limit to the number of long-term commitments you will carry. For instance, I have chosen to keep one large and one small long-term volunteer commitment. If I were to take on another long-term commitment, I would have to give up one of my previous commitments. By limiting your long-term commitments, it does allow for more time to help out in short-term service projects. You will be more likely to have the time to bake brownies for your child's classroom, or be a teacher's assistant during Vacation Bible School if you follow a similar approach. Ask for accountability. Ask your husband, a close friend, or your Bible Study group to hold you accountable for the number of commitments you will carry. Be open to their insight. If you have trouble saying "no" ask them to help you during the first few months while you will be getting things back in balance. When you tell someone you will call them back, check with your accountability partner first before providing an answer to that most recent request. Sort through your schedule with them. Eventually you won't need their help, but it can help you get on your feet as you are learning to say "no". When saying "no" don't feel that you need to give a long list of excuses. You know what is best for your family and for yourself. If you feel you need to give an excuse, simply say that it would not fit into your schedule at this time. Keep in mind that you do not have to say "yes" simply because you are capable. You may have strong leadership skills and will most likely to be asked to lead most anything you will be involved in. That doesn't mean you have to say "yes" to those responsibilities. You say "yes" only after considering your passion for this organization, your time availability, other volunteer responsibilities, your family commitments, and what you might need to give up to properly do this job. If you have too much on your plate now, begin by evaluating your priorities. Determine what responsibilities you need to let go of. Give a one month notice to organizations you will not be able to serve any longer. Although it may be difficult to give up a responsibility, you are not doing the organization or your family any good when you cannot fully commit to the job. As soon as you let go of the responsibilities you were carrying, instill new boundaries into your time. Don't let yourself become overcommitted again. Saying "no" allows others the opportunity to say "yes". Don't take service opportunities away from others. Don't forget to figure in time to have a friend over, take your kids to the park, write a letter, or go on a date with your husband. We don't usually schedule these activities in, but they are the first to go when we are overcommitted. Remember that saying "yes" to some activities outside the home will be important to your sanity. Moms of young children especially need to get out of the house to socialize and think about something other than diapers, bottles, and coupons. Contrary to popular belief, your brain will not turn to mush, it will just feel like it at times. We need to choose carefully, though, those things we will be involved in so our time will be used wisely. You will be amazed at the patience you will have with your family when you find balance in your activity schedule. Jill Savage, author of Professionalizing Motherhood, is a mother of four children ranging in ages four to sixteen. Jill lives with her family in Normal, Illinois, where she serves as the Director of Hearts at Home, an organization designed to encourage women in the profession of motherhood. For more information about Hearts at Home call 309-888-MOMS or check out www.hearts-at-home.org . Copyright 2001 Hearts at Home. All rights reserved. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

DEALING WITH CRYBABIES By Cheryl Gochnauer Since Karen and Carrie are now 12 and 8, you might think I'm out of touchwith mothers of newborns. No way. I have an excellent memory and I want youto know, my glassy-eyed, sleep-deprived, still-in-my-bathrobe-at-5 friend,that you will live through this. Poor Baby. I remember a particularly bleary day when Karen started screaming at 8 a.m.and didn't quit for six hours. SIX hours! About five hours into it, I wasstanding on my front porch, screaming myself (in my bathrobe, of course).Fortunately, all my neighbors worked, so no one was around to call the cops.Then again, I probably would have been grateful to be hauled off to a nice,quiet cell. Baby swings were usually helpful in getting my little ones quieted down.With Karen, I had one of those crank jobbies that would run out of steamjust as she was nodding off. Waaaaah! When Carrie came along, I got smartand bought a battery-operated swing and constantly kept a fresh supply ofAAs on hand. Babies cry, and for as little as they are, they're remarkably good at it.Since they can't talk, crying is their main means of communicating, and itwill help keep your temper in check if you try to view their bawling in thatlight. Approach their outbursts as you would a foreign language, spoken bysomeone you'd give your life for. It takes a relatively short time for Mom to decipher which cry means what.There's the "I'm hungry" cry. There's the "I'm tired" cry. There's theemphatic "I need a new diaper" cry. (Who wouldn't wail at that?) And inCarrie's case, there was the "My sock's on crooked and somebody's gonna pay!" cry. (Even at three months, she was a perfectionist.) If you're a stay-at-home mom, I can point out a silver lining surroundingthe up-all-night cloud: once you collapse in bed at 4 a.m., you don't haveto get up for work at 6 a.m. There were times when I was sure people in the next county could hear myredheaded foghorns. But read my lips: this too shall pass. Your baby willlearn to sleep through the night. You will wear makeup again. Both you andyour baby will learn to communicate in ways other than crying. Meanwhile, make sure you arrange for regular renewal time away from yourchildren. Days on end without a break sap energy and patience, and achronically tired mother has little to give her family. So take Grandma upon her offer to baby-sit; ask your husband to watch the baby while you get asoda with friends; build some mad money into the budget for a sitter so youcan get out a couple of hours a week. That's another thing I remember - how revitalizing a short break can be. Bythe time I walked back in the door, I was refreshed and swept my baby backin my arms, ready for our next adventure together. Give yourself somebreathing room, and there's a good chance you'll feel the same. (Comments? Write Cheryl@homebodies.org , or visit her website at www.homebodies.org . Her book, " So You Want to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom ," isavailable through Dr. Laura#146;s Reading Corner . Copyright2001 Homebodies.Org, LLC. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.) More >>

THIS MOTHER'S PLACE By Cheryl Gochnauer It's not easy holding down two demanding jobs, one outside and one insidethe home. So when my daughters were 6 and 2, I turned in my resignation andbecame a stay-at-home mom. I was 36, a nearly-20 year veteran of office politics and project deadlines.This was merely a time-out, a season of my life when I would focus on familyinstead of faxes. As soon as my baby hit first-grade, I'd head back for mycubicle. That was the plan, anyway. But the more time I spent with my girls, themore they depended on me. And as our once-elusive quality time togetherexpanded, I realized I needed them, too. I suppose some may view scaling back material possessions as sacrifice. ButI know I've made a good trade when I'm on hand for those teachable momentsin my children's lives. And surprisingly, they didn't halt when my youngeststarted school. In many ways, those opportunities have increased as mygirls have grown. Recently, my preteen burst off the bus and in the front door, her face athundercloud of anger and barely contained tears. Wiping my hands on a dishcloth, I stepped into the living room from thekitchen, where I was starting dinner. "What happened?" I asked. "Nothing." Didn't look like nothing. Guiding her over to the couch, we sat down. With my hand on her shoulder, Iasked again. "What happened?" Then the cloud burst, and the story of herdisintegrating relationship with another girl poured out. I'm so glad I was there! It was about 4:00 p.m. In my old life, I wouldn'thave even been home until 6:30 p.m. By then, my daughter would have plowedher feelings under. The chance to bond would have been lost. What was I making for dinner that night? I don't have a clue. But themoments spent helping heal my child's hurt are forever seared in my heart. This time at home has turned out to be a gift to me, as well as to mychildren. That's because we've found the balance that fits our uniquefamily. Since we are all individuals, it would be unfair to cookie-cutevery mother into being a full-time stay-at-home mom. But being homecertainly has turned out to be the perfect place for me. It has been a while since my youngest entered first grade. My projectedtarget date for returning to the office has come and gone. But that's okay.I'm happy on this path. For me, the Promised Land lies in my own backyard. (Comments? Write Cheryl@homebodies.org , or visit her website at www.homebodies.org . Her book, " So You Want to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom ," isavailable through Dr. Laura#146;s Reading Corner . Copyright2001 Homebodies.Org, LLC. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.) More >>

Three Umbrellas Every Parent Needs by Debi Stack Probably sometime in the last 24 hours, if you're a mommy (or daddy) to the max, your child shared a wild idea, and then BOOM! Down poured your list of all the logical reasons why it won't work. Here are two examples of how I've done it with my own kids. --While watching an old movie starring Gene Kelly with my then-preteen daughter, she commented on how handsome he was and how romantic it would be to dance with him. What I should've said is, "Yes, he is good-looking. And I'm sure if you could somehow hop into this movie, he'd think you were cute as a button." What I actually said was, "He's probably dead by now." --While driving with my then-preschooler son beside me, he noticed a stray dog and began talking about how when he is grown up he will take care of all the animals in the world that don't have homes. What I should've said is, "You have such a kind heart. That's one of the things I love about you." What I actually said was, "Most of them would probably have diseases and need to be put to sleep." AARRGGHH! I hate it when I do that! Of course, I could blame my poor responses on being sleep deprived with my daughter (she likes to start watching a movie when I'm ready for bed) or at being traffic-distracted with my son (he likes to jabber faster and louder during rush hour). But my response had nothing to do with them. It's just typical of perfectionists to automatically focus on what's wrong and ignore what's right. This is like an oversensitive fire alarm: at the slightest hint of heat, PWEEEEESSSHHH!!! The sprinkler system kicks in and everything is drenched, doused and water-damaged. The good news is that we can retrain ourselves to turn down the over-sensitivity to "wrong" and turn up the sensitivity to "right." Here are three tips that help keep me from raining on my kids' parades. Umbrella #1: Give them my full attention. When I'm tired or distracted, this takes extra effort, but maintaining eye contact with my optimistic children as they share their exciting ideas softens my heart and my response. Their sweetly expectant faces are irresistible! (Besides, don't I require their full attention when I speak to them?) Umbrella #2: Show real interest. The easiest way to enter into my kids' dreams is with play-along questions. When my then-preschooler daughter talked about what kind of princess dress she would wear to a ball, I asked, "What kind of shoes would go with that? What color dress could I have? Would you paint a picture of that for me?" (See? I do say the right thing sometimes!) Umbrella #3: Suppress evaluations. Instead of jumping in with an adult-level judgment ("That will never work"), offer affirming statements: "I like the way you think." "Your imagination inspires me!" "It's fun to share your dreams." Yes, most of our kids' parades will eventually be rained upon, but parents should be the last to drizzle and drip on them. Instead, let's offer each of our little dreamers the shelter of our attention, interest and affirmation. That will keep them singin' in the rain for years to come. Debi Stack is an author, speaker and media guest who addresses the topics of stress, overcommitment and perfectionism. Her humorous, self-help book for maxed-out women, Martha to the Max: Balanced Living for Perfectionists , is in multiple printings and translations. Visit www.maxedout.net . This "Mommy to the Max" column is used by DrLaura.com with permission. Copyright 2002. All forms of reproduction strictly prohibited. More >>

The History of Father's Day -by Patti Chadwick www.parentsandteens.com patti@parentsandteens.com In today's world, Father's Day seems like a tradition that has been around forever. The truth of the matter is, however, that Father's Day is a relatively new institution, which became an official holiday only 29 years ago. There is a discrepancy over who was actually the originator of the holiday. While some feel that the first Father's Day observance was planned by Mrs. Charles Clayton of West Virginia in 1908, popular opinion credits Sonora Smart Dodd, of Spokane, Washington with the idea. Sonora Smart Dodd had lost her mother during the birth of her sixth child. For twenty-one years her father, William Jackson Smart, raised his six children on his own, making all the parental sacrifices that come with raising a family. To Sonora, her father was the perfect example of a selfless, loving, courageous man. In 1909, while listening intently to a Mother's Day sermon extolling the virtues of motherhood, Sonora longed for a way to honor her father for all he had done for her and her siblings. It is then that shecame up with the idea of holding a Father's Day celebration to honor fathers everywhere. Mrs. Dodd was able to gain support for a local Father's Day celebration from the town's ministers and members of the local Y.M.C.A. The date suggested for the first Father's Day was June 5, 1910, William Smart's birthday. However, because of the time needed to prepare for the celebration, the date of the first Father's Day celebration was moved to June 19, the third Sunday in June.The rose was selected as the flower to be worn in Father's Day celebrations; the red rose for those whose father was living and the white rose for those whose father had passed away. Newspapers across the country that were endorsing Mother's Day carried stories of the Father's Day observance in Spokane. Interest in Father's Day increased and local observances popped up across the nation. The state of Washington made Father's Day an official holiday that same year. Though the holiday was popular as a local celebration in many communities, it wasn't readily accepted nationally. In 1912, J.H. Berringer, of Washington conducted a Father's Day service, choosing to wear a white lilac as the Father's Day flower. In 1915, Henry Meek, president of the Lions Club of Chicago also began promoting Father's Day celebrations. He gave several speeches around the United States supporting Father's Day and in 1920 the Lions Clubs of America presented him with a gold watch with the inscription "Originator of Father's Day". Many famous people supported Father's Day and attempted to secure official recognition for the holiday including William Jennings Bryan, Woodrow Wilson, and Calvin Coolidge. In 1916 President Wilson observed the holiday with his own family and in 1924 President Coolidge gave his support to states wishing to hold their own Father's Day observances believing that widespread observance of the holiday would draw families closer together. In 1957 Senator Margaret Chase Smith lobbied Congress for a national Father's Day, but it wasn't until 1966 that President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day. In 1972, President Richard Nixon established a permanent national observance of Father's Day to be held on the 3rd Sunday of June. Today, Father's Day is celebrated across the globe. While it is not as widely celebrated as Mother's Day, Father's Day is the fifth-largest card-sending occasion in America, with over 85 million greeting cards exchanged. Patricia Chadwick is a freelance writer and has been a stay-at-home mom for 15 years. She is currently a columnist in several online publications as well as editor of two newsletters. Parents Teens is a twice-monthly newsletter geared to help parents connect with their teens. Subscribe at www.parentsandteens.com . History's Women is weekly online magazine highlighting the extraordinary achievements of women. Subscribe at www.historyswomen.com/subscribe.html . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

Homebodies Spotlight: One Husband's Transition Homebodies By Cheryl Gochnauer Cheryl@homebodies.org Copyright 2003 Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com Stephanie had been an at-home parent for about 10 months, and loved it.But like many wives, she ran into resistance from her husband when shefirst expressed her desire to stay home with their children. Here's alook at how they worked through their conflicting stances. Q: What was your husband's initial reaction when you brought upbecoming a SAH wife and mother? He was dead set against it; said we were in no financial position toeven consider it. He was somewhat correct about that, but it was not asgrave as he initially made it out to be. Q: How long did it take him to come around? I first brought it up around September, when our second child was aninfant and we had two in daycare, nine hours a day. I resigned my jobin June, so 9 months. Q: What kind of evidence/information did you use to sway him? I drew up a detailed budget of how much I made in take-home pay, and howover half of that went for daycare tuition payments. Add gas, lunchesout, work clothes, dry cleaning, etc. Another biggie was the dramaticchange for the worse in our older son's behavior. He picked up allsorts of bad habits due to being moved up into an inadequately staffedroom at the daycare center. His other rooms were great, but this onewas a disaster! Also, I showed my husband that I could not keep up witha full time job, two kids in daycare, keeping house, and attending toour marriage without having a nervous breakdown. He finally got thepicture. Q: Has your one-time hesitant husband ever expressed any resentment or regret that he agreed to bringing you home? No, never. We compromised; I waited to resign until after he took abetter paying position and was in that job for about 6 months. We paiddown some debt, drew up a budget and socked away as much of my salary aspossible. We barely feel the pinch financially, which leads me tobelieve that my salary was virtually non-existent after expenses. Ithink most husbands worry about the finances first and are resistant tothe SAHM idea until you convince them that you will be okay without thatextra salary. And now my husband comments on the improvement in ourhousehold and children all of the time. As Stephanie illustrated, money concerns can cause a knee-jerk "No way!"reaction from husbands when the stay-at-home subject is first laid onthe table. But keep those lines of communication open and look at allyour options, together. Then make family-focused decisions that bothspouses can support wholeheartedly. Cheryl's latest book, is "Stay-at-Home Handbook: Advice on Parenting, Finances, Career,Surviving Each Day More" (InterVarsity Press, 2002). Visit www.homebodies.org/bookstore/orderSAHH.htm or write Cheryl@homebodies.org . You can also read her column on the Web at www.gospelcom.net/homebodies/experts/cgochnauer/index.php . More >>

Parent Your Teenager Into Adulthood Many people think that once their children become teenagers their parenting will become much easier. They figure that the days of physically caring for their children will be almost over and that somehow teens will want to take care of themselves from the day they hit 13. Those who hold these beliefs have never had a sick teenager in the house! This has been a bad winter for the Chadwick household. The flu has hit us pretty hard and the only one that has managed to stay healthy isMamma Bear. While my kids are all teenagers, when they are sick, they want the same doting as a two-year-old child! They want mom home at all time and preferably at their side. #147;I need Kleenex...#148; #147;I need water.#148; #147;I feel awful, can you rub my head.#148; When my 15-year-old daughter came down with the flu this winter, she reverted to her former child-like self. Normally, she is very independent and likes to take care of herself. She takes care of all areas of her life: finances, studies, care for her clothing, etc. When she got sick, however, all she wanted was for mom to be there, taking care of her. In fact, it was a busy week for this work-at-home mom and apparently I wasn't giving my girl enough attention. She was upstairs in her room and every time she needed something she would call me on my cell phone from the telephone in her room with her requests. As she began to feel a little better, but not totally well, she would call and say, #147;Mom where are you? I'm lonely!#148; So much for being independent! My point is that no matter how grown up your teens seem to be they always need their parents. They need your advice, they need your listening ear, they need your watchful eye, they need to have you to be available for them, and when they are sick they need you to pamper them! So many parents make the mistake of giving their teens too much freedom and become too busy with other areas of their lives during the teenage years. Just because they may seem grown up on the outside, it doesn't mean they are grown up on the inside! God has given us a responsibility to raise our children to love and worship Him and to choose to live a godly, moral life. He promises us in Proverbs 22:6 that if we teach our children to choose the right path, when they are older, they will remain upon it. Don't give up this opportunity to parent your teenager into adulthood. You have the good fortune to be the most important influence at this critical time in their lives. It is from you that they will learn to make daily choices to follow God's ways, which is really the biblical definition of wisdom! Rise up to the challenge and before you know it they will be grown and making decisions on their own. Your parenting days are numbered; use this time well! Patricia Chadwick is a freelance writer and columnist in several online publications. Visit her website and sign up for her FREE weekly newsletters at www.parentsandteens.com Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

ATTACK OF THE BEANIE BABIES By Cheryl Gochnauer When I went garage saling last week, I was amazed to see all the marked-downBeanie Babies. I'm old enough to remember when Beanies sparked mania acrossour cities, and it's a little sad to see them tossed haphazardly incardboard crates on strangers' driveways. Those who know me well are grinning as they read that last line. Theyremember how hard I fought my Beanie addiction - right up until Pugsley wonme over. But I'm getting ahead of the story. . . . Let's flash back a few years, and re-live "Attack of the Beanie Babies", aHomebodies column I wrote in 1997:I refuse to give in to every whim that presents itself. I didn't adopt aCabbage Patch doll; refused to blow a fuse over Buzz Lightyear; managed toignore Tickle Me Elmo. Amused, I watched as fellow moms collected all 101 Dalmatians and overdosedon Happy Meals in order to get every Teeny Beanie. Those littlepebble-stuffed animals seemed harmless enough. But then Beanie Babies took on a life of their own. My friends -- grownwomen, mind you -- were going bonkers for Beanies. One lady waited in linefor three hours to purchase four (the limit). Another ran up long distancebills, calling out-of-town Hallmarks for leads on the elusive critters. Teachers passed out Beanie Baby rosters and kids logged onto the Beanie BabyWebsite, with full-color photos and stats on each innocent-looking entry. Everywhere, from grocery store to hardware shop, I noticed mountains ofbeanbag dolls, all (in my novice eyes) as cute as could be. "What's thedeal?" I asked my daughter, Karen. "There's all kinds of Beanie Babiesaround." "Those aren't the REAL Beanies, Mom. See, the real ones have a little redheart with a poem." "These have poems. And names, too," I persisted. "They're all right, I guess," Karen sidetracked, but I knew she wasn'tconvinced. It really didn't matter to me, anyhow. I thought the whole thing wasstupid, and so I shrugged it off and got on with my life. Karen's birthday was in two weeks, and I was feeling the pressure of findingsomething a nine-year-old would like. Too old for toys; too young to besatisfied with new clothes. The only thing she had shown an interest in was those Beanie Babies herfriends all had. All right. I'll get her a bunch of Beanies. Little did I know. I should have been shopping for Beanies eight monthsago. We were in the midst of a Beanie drought. Babies on the Beanie blackmarket were bringing 10 times their face value. A Hallmark clerk laughed in my face, saying yes, they did get a shipment ofBeanies in last week. All 120 were gone in 10 minutes. What is there, some kind of Beanie Underground? Rumor said a shop downtown had a stash, but the owner only sold to "private"customers. Maybe by dropping a name, I'd have some luck. Forget it! My head was splitting with the injustice of it all. Then I started getting calls from the Beanie hotline. Addicts phoned inleads. It was as surreal as Elvis sightings. "There's a handful at the Odessa Outlet Mall!" "A lady in Warsaw has one for $20. I'd take it." "My cousin had some doubles. Let me check with her." I resisted as long as I could, but then...I'm sorry...I get a littleemotional here. I gave in. I became a Beanie Weenie. Memory clicked and I remembered a source who could get me a couple ofBeanies in time for Karen's birthday. Ironically, this same lady hadoffered each of my girls a free Beanie Baby a few months earlier. I hadlaughed at her then; now, I was scrambling for her phone number. The Beanies were no longer free, but she had connections on the Internet.She could pull a few strings...and shamelessly, I let her. Karen's' reaction to Pugsley and Blizzard was worth it all. And that Pugsley...he's SO cute! I've got to get a grip.(Comments? Email cheryl@homebodies.org , or visit her website at www.homebodies.org . Her book, So You Want to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom, isavailable at your favorite bookstore. Copyright 2001 Homebodies.Org, LLC. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.) More >>

ON-LINE RESOURCES FOR STAY-AT-HOME PARENTS 1) At-Home Mothers www.athomemothers.com The National Association of At-Home Mothers offers complete support for theat-home motherhood lifestyle, including a quarterly magazine called At-HomeMother, as well as numerous other member benefits. NAAHM is "committed tofinding solutions to all of your at-home mothering concerns". Membership is$18 per year. You can get more information by writing the NationalAssociation of At-Home Mothers, 406 E. Buchanan Ave., Fairfield, IA 52556,or by e-mail: information@AtHomeMothers.com . Also take a look at theircomprehensive website, which offers free information, sample articles andInfo Guides, a bookstore of publications chosen specifically for at-homemothers, and much more. 2) Caring at Home www.momsnetwork.com/suites/parentchild/caringathome/ Caring at Home is a non-profit organization operated by work at home momswho would like to make a difference in the lives of the nation's childrenand the people that care for them. They want to create a link among allpeople who share the same concern and help them reach the ears ofgovernmental decision-makers. Their motto: Together we can make adifference! 3) Cheapskate Monthly www.cheapskatemonthly.com Author Mary Hunt's Cheapskate Monthly is a 12-page newsletter published 12times a year and delivered either to your mailbox or via the Internet.Cheapskate Monthly's purpose is (1) to empower and educate those that areliving financially responsible lives to become even more effective moneymanagers, and (2) to help those who are struggling to live within theirmeans find practical and realistic solutions to their financial problems, toget out of debt and begin living joyfully beneath their means. Bothversions of Cheapskate Monthly are filled with tips, humor and greatinformation to help you stretch those dollars till they scream! Tosubscribe to Cheapskate Monthly, send a check or money order for $18.00 toCheapskate Monthly, P.O. Box 2135, Paramount, CA 90723-8135. For moreinformation, call (562) 630-6474. 4) Cyber Working Moms www.cyberworking.com Cyber Working Moms site was built to encourage working women who chose to stay at home with their children, by providing helpful information, encouragement, tips on how to make things easier and secondly for support and advice from other "work at home moms." 5) Daddy's Home www.Daddyshome.com An on-line resource for primary caregiver fathers. 6) The Dollar Stretcher www.stretcher.com The Dollar Stretcher is dedicated to "living better...for less" and featuresways to help you stretch your day and your budget. The website includes alibrary with over 3,000 free articles covering everything from babies tovacations. There are also three free electronic newsletters, as well as amonthly print newsletter that is available by paid subscription. The site'seditor, Gary Foreman, is a former Certified Financial Planner and purchasingmanager. If you want to save money, this is the place to start. 7) Hearts at Home www.hearts-at-home.org Founded by Jill Savage in 1993, Hearts at Home offers a variety of resourcesand events to assist women in their job as wife and mother. Resourcesinclude the Hearts at Home magazine, the Hearts at Home devotional, and theHearts at Home website. Additionally, Hearts at Home conferences make agreat getaway for individuals, moms' groups, or that special friend, sister,or sister-in-law. Regional conferences attended by over 10,000 women eachyear provide a unique, affordable and highly encouraging weekend for thewoman who takes the profession of motherhood seriously. Contact: Hearts atHome, 900 W. College Avenue, Normal, Illinois 61761. Phone: (309) 888-MOMS. 8) Home-Based Working Moms www.hbwm.com This is a professional association and an online community of parents whowork at home and those who would like to. HBWM members receive a monthly(print) newsletter, free advertising options, Hire-A-Mom directory listing,national publicity opportunities, e-mail discussion list, private messageboards, support, networking, information, more! Home-Based Working Moms,PO Box 500164, Austin, TX 78750. Phone: (512) 266-0900 9) Homebodies www.homebodies.org Author and speaker Cheryl Gochnauer's aim is to empower and encourageat-home parents and working mothers who are considering the at-homelifestyle by providing practical financial, emotional and career-planningadvice. Her website features columnists, resources and message boards whereyou can interact in a safe environment with likeminded parents around theworld. Read how she cut $1000 from her family's monthly budget: www.homebodies.org/dollars.html . 10) Main Street Moms www.mainstreetmom.com Main Street Moms is the online magazine for modern mothers with traditionalvalues. You will find articles on parenting, marriage, family budgeting,craft ideas, spiritual growth, family life, and more. You will also findlively discussion boards, free newsletters, and monthly contests. Foundedin 1998, MainStreetMom.com has developed into a community of at-home momswho network their ideas, joys, and frustrations. Money is tight for all ofus, but through sharing ideas, we help each other get through the toughtimes so that we can fully put our children first. 11) Miserly Moms www.miserlymoms.com Miserly Moms is a multi-faceted organization founded by Jonni McCoy in 1992.Jonni's goal is to help people (especially moms) get the tools that theirfamilies need to save money and spend more time together. Jonni writes booksand articles, teaches workshops, runs discussion groups, and does radio andtelevision appearances, all for the purpose of educating people on how toshop more wisely to stretch their dollar. 12) Mommies on the Web www.mommiesontheweb.com A site offering not only parenting information and articles, but alsosupport and friendship to all moms. Join the online community to meet andinteract with other mothers. Enjoy planned chats, special events, recipeexchanges, and many mailing lists. Or shop in the MomVentures mallfeaturing services and products offered by work at home moms. 13) Mommy Savers www.mommysavers.com This website is for thrifty moms who want the best for their families butdon't want to spend an arm and a leg to get it. The decision to be astay-at-home mom is one of the most difficult many new or prospectiveparents face. The main reason many parents feel it is not possible isfinancial. How can a couple with two wage-earners get by on one salary whileadding another member to the family? It certainly is not easy. While everyfamily is different, they all have one thing in common: nobody takes hometheir entire salary. That is where the cost of work comes in. To read therest of the article, go to www.mommysavers.com/moneywise/cost_of_work.htm 14) MOMS Clubs International www.momsclub.org MOMS Clubs are exclusively for at-home mothers, no matter how old theirchildren are. Founded in California in 1983, they now have over 2200 chapters and over 110,000 members across the United States. MOMS Clubsmeet during the day, and children are welcome. 15) Moms Promoting Moms www.joemamaproductions.com Ann Diaz of Joe Mama Productions in Littleton, Colorado, has a great idea:She provides a business opportunity for parents who want to work from home -and the opportunity involves having that parent create opportunities forother parents who want to work from home. It's a real win-win. Says Ann, "Iam in the business of helping other work-at-home moms to be more successful,by presenting them to their local communities as a group, giving them aunique co-op type of marketing venue. I do this by publishing a bookletcalled Moms Inc.: Business Directory of Work-at-Home Moms T." For a modest upfront fee, Ann provides essential materials, businessguidebook and marketing support that a person needs in order to create adirectory in her own city. "One of the great features of this businessopportunity is that your out-of-pocket expenses are very low. "When I wasdoing my first directory, I started from scratch and with no workingcapital. I didn't go to the printer until I had generated enoughadvertising income to pay for it. That way, there was no risk. If Ifailed, I would have simply returned everyone's checks. Fortunately, ittook off!" Interested in creating a Moms Inc. directory for your city? For informationabout becoming a licensed publisher of Moms Inc.: Business Directory ofWork-at-Home Moms in your local area, or to find out if there's a Directorycoming soon to your area, contact Ann Diaz at (970) 593-0604; or e-mail: joemamapro@aol.com . You can also visit her web-site at www.joemamaproductions.com . 16) Mothers More www.mothersandmore.org Mothers More is an international not-for-profit organization supportingsequencing women - mothers who have altered their career paths in order tocare for their children at home. The organization addresses women'spersonal needs and interests during their active parenting years, promotesrecognition and respect for sequencing women, and respects the right ofevery mother to choose if and how she will combine parenting and paidemployment. Mothers More also acts as an advocate for public andemployment policies that accommodate sequencing. Visit their website orcall (800) 223-9399 to find a chapter close to you. 17) Mothers at Home www.mah.org Mothers At Home is the first and largest national non-profit organizationdedicated to the support and encouragement of at-home parenting. Founded in1984, Mothers At Home publishes an award-winning monthly journal, WelcomeHome, as well as books and information on at-home parenting issues. MothersAt Home serves as an advocate on behalf of at-home parents through mediainterviews, public policy analysis, and presentations to parenting groups.For more information visit our website, e-mail us at: mah@mah.org , call(800) 783-4666 for a free information packet, or write Mothers At Home,9493-C Silver King Ct., Fairfax, VA 22031. 18) Stay At-Home Dads www.Slowlane.com The Slowlane web site is a friendly online environment to help support,advocate and inform dads, with particular attention given to stay-at-homedads (SAHD). The site is a comprehensive collection of resources includingthose that handle the common issues like starting a playgroup with otherdads and running a home business as well as the tough issues (divorce,death, custody, etc.), so a dad who needs specific information will easily beable to find a resource to fit his personal search criteria. 19) Work-at-Home Moms www.wahm.com The Online Magazine for Work-at-Home Moms ( www.wahm.com ). This site ispacked with useful information about succeeding in the work-at-home mom(WAHM) arena. Excellent links and resources, plus a smattering of cartoonsand light commentary, make this an excellent resource for current WAHM's orWAHM wanna-be's. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

One Habit At A Time Copyright 2003 Deborah Taylor-Hough Used with permission on DrLaura.com. All rights reserved. hometown.aol.com/dsimple/ I've been told it takes four to six weeks for any action tobecome a habit. So, keeping that in mind, one way I'mgoing to insure my success at keeping my New Year'sresolutions this year is by working on only one newhabit at a time each month. Then, every time I turn toa new calendar page, I'll work on developing a differentgood habit. At the end of the year, I could easily have twelve newpositive habits in my life. Once something's becomea habit, it's simply a part of my life and not somethingI'll even have to think about anymore. Here are some sample goals and habits I'm planning toimplement throughout the coming year (in no particularorder -- taken one at time, one per month): Use both an aerobic video and my exercise equipment 3-4 times per week Spend 20-30 minutes reading aloud to my children everyday Get up at 5am for personal prayer, and Bible study Work on my next book for half an hour everyday Spend ten minutes each day decluttering If I had started the New Year off by attempting to doall of these things at the same time, I know I would'vebecome overwhelmed, and then given up long before anyof these activities became habitual and second-nature. What's the area of life you're most concerned about?Exercise? Weight loss? Healthy eating? Gettingorganized? Saving money? Spending more time withyour kids? Break your goal down into simple steps thatyou can easily manage, and then start working your wayto your goal, one small step at a time. As the old cliche' says: How do you eat an elephant? ...One bite at a time. By making small and consistentchanges, it's possible to change your health, your body,and your life. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Deborah Taylor-Hough (free-lance writer and mother ofthree) is the author of several books including 'FrozenAssets: How to cook for a day and eat for a month ,' andthe brand new 'Frugal Living For Dummies(r)' (Wiley,mid-January '03). Debi also edits the free Simple Timese-newsletter: subscribe-simple-times@ds.xc.org Visit Debi online at: hometown.aol.com/dsimple/ More >>