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Tags: DivorceFamily/Relationships - ChildrenMarriageParentingSex
Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParenting
IconI breast-fed my son, and promote breast-feeding for adult mothers, for both psychological and physiological reasons - it's a great and wonderful thing for mother and child.' I do believe in being discreet, however, which gets some breast-feeding moms hot under the collar.' I guess they forget that breasts are "sexual" parts to men, and generally are considered appendages that should be private.'So what's the latest toy on the market for little girls (coming out in time for the holidays)?' A doll that comes with a special halter top for a little girl (the doll's "mother") to wear as she pretends to breast feed her "baby."' The halter top has daisies that cover a little girl's nipples, and come undone just as easily as the flaps of a real nursing bra do.'Toys need to be age-appropriate, and toys which may speed up maternal urges at a time when children are not that mature, are just not appropriate at all. More >>

Tags: Family/Relationships - ChildrenParenting
IconAntidepressant drug use in the United States doubled between 1998 and 2005, according to a report in The Archives of General Psychiatry.' But I'm telling you that there is no way in the world that the incidence of profound depression doubled in that same period.' No way.About 13 million people (or 6% of the population) were prescribed an antidepressant in 1996.' By 2006, that number rose to more than 27 million people.' Again, there's no way that the incidence of profound depression increased that much.'Try this number on for size:' more than 164 million prescriptions were written in 2008, totaling almost $10 BILLION in US sales.' Unlike the incidence of profound depression, I believe that the incidence of making money off prescriptions for depression did indeed double between 1996 and 2005.As a licensed psychotherapist, I can tell you with great candor that the psychological and pharmaceutical communities have a huge investment in income - plain and simple.' It's been amazing to me (and I have commented on this publicly for thirty years) how there are trends in diagnoses and grandiose treatments.' For a while, everyone was agoraphobic; then every adult claimed to have some level of ADD; then there was a trend toward multiple personality disorder.' Now, being bi-polar is the illness of choice, or so it seems.I'm going to state the obvious: yes , there are people clinically depressed to such a severe level that medicine might be the difference between life and suicide.' I have recommended interim treatment for people who seem to be suffering profoundly.However, this "doubling" issue is occurring for a number of reasons:' 1) trends in the psych industry; 2) money-making efforts by pharmaceutical companies (notice all the TV commercials); 3) the growing weakness of the American public to deal with frustrations and setbacks; 4) the social acceptance of copping to a mental illness to explain various personality/behavioral issues; 5) insurance companies not paying for psychotherapy (requiring high out-of-pocket expenses for treatment).' The bottom line?' Numerous studies show that therapy is as effective (if not more effective) than drug use alone.I've become more and more concerned about people trying to "cure" what is normal.' I've said this on my program many times:' being sad and deflated over job or love losses is normal ; having childhood disruptions in one's life is normal ; hanging on to them as an identity, attempt at attention, and as a cop-out for responsibilities is not accepting (and not enduring) what is normal .'A sixteen year old male called my radio program the other day.' He was sad that "the love of his life" dumped him, and he didn't see any future for himself.' I told him that what he was calling the "love of his life" at 16 was not what he would choose as the love of his life at 26.' I also told him that this adolescent "drama" was normal , and that he would go through it a number of times, before he truly recognized who would ultimately be the "love of his life."' His attitude lightened up as he began to understand what normal meant.' I told him to distract himself with sports (releasing powerful endorphins) and friends, without harping on his situation, and it would pass...until the next time.' That is just simply what life is like.We have people who can't take a joke, can't tolerate a difference of opinion (after George W. Bush was re-elected, a psychologist in my area published an article talking about the massive depression in his patients who were Democrats - I was stunned and horrified that people would seek therapy for an election disappointment), who call everything "harassment," who go through difficulties and say that the rest of their lives are "ruined" because of that event, who say they can't function anymore in life because somebody pushed them too close to their actual potential, and so on.'Frankly, I worry that Americans are getting spiritually and psychologically weaker - voluntarily - because victimhood is attractive, and because there is a group for every type of victim that will help them to prolong the suffering. More >>

Tags: ChildrenHealthMental HealthParentingPersonal Responsibility
Tags: MotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingSexStay-At-Home-Moms
IconI should have curly hair by now, especially considering the shenanigans and cruelty perpetrated on children by self-centered adults who have the title "parent."' Their behavior would curl anyone's hair.A 72-year-old woman realized that she "always wanted a child, but spent [her] younger years devoted to academics, achieving degrees in medical sciences and zoology.' I'd always had it in the back of my mind that when the time was right I'd like to have a child.' But my studies meant that children kept getting delayed.' The right time finally came in my early 50s, and since then, I've been attempting, and failing, with IVF [in-vitro fertilization]." This excuse for a prospective mother has never had a long term relationship (no time for that either), and therefore doesn't even have an ancient daddy to provide for the child.' As for her age?' Well, she figures anyone can die at any time (and she's a scientist?' She's supposed to understand actuarial tables).' She really believes she's going to last long enough in good enough health, or she says she'll "ask one of my younger friends to be a guardian." So, IF she conceives (and I sincerely hope her 20 years of fertility failure continue), she'll play with the kid and then just pass him or her off to some friend.' Great.Remember the Italian woman, then the oldest to give birth in 2006 at the age of 67?' She died recently.' You can count the age of her orphaned child on less than one hand.If this woman succeeds, she will have the title of the oldest mother in the world.' I would suggest that she will be the oldest female creature to give birth, as a real mother would never set up her own child for this selfish foolishness.' I wish this fertility doctor would have his license revoked.' The same should happen to the American doctor who impregnated the "Octomom."Freedoms without limits automatically encroach upon good sense, compassion, and someone else's well-being.' This is just another example of how insignificant the needs of children have become as compared to the impulsive, self-centered desires of adults who want children, but who don't necessarily want to be bothered by the needs of children. More >>

Tags: Character, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceChildrenFamily/Relationships - ChildrenMoralsMorals, Ethics, ValuesMotherhoodMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingValues
Tags: ChildrenParentingPersonal ResponsibilityValues
Tags: Family/Relationships - TeensFather's DayMen's Point of ViewMotherhood-FatherhoodParentingSexTeens
IconThe most important part of having "rights" is taking "responsibility" for those rights.' This is a concept many activist groups don't "get," as evidenced by their angry utterances and actions.' For these people (feminists, for example), their actions are irrelevant - they believe they should be able to say and do whatever they please.' It's the other people who have to toe the line.Here's an example:' colleges in the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh said that female students would be banned from wearing jeans and other "western" clothes in order to halt sexual harassment by male classmates. "Girls who choose to wear jeans will be expelled from the college," Meeta Jamal, principal of the Dayanand girls' college in Kanpur city told Agence France-Presse (AFP). "This will be the only way to stop crime against women." Okay - so, jeans, shorts, tight blouses and mini-skirts on campus are being banned in a growing number of their colleges in an attempt to crack down on "EVE-teasing" (as sexual harassment is known in India).' But, of course, these "oh so mature" and wise girls between the ages of 17 and 20 say that these rules punish innocent females rather than tackling the men who talk "smack" to them..Let's look at this in a very pragmatic way.' Two girls are walking down the street, passing a group of young men.' Each girl is on the opposite side of the street.' One girl has on a tight-cropped top and low-cut jeans.' The girl on the other side of the street is wearing a pretty, but modest, dress.' Which side of the street are the guys going to pay attention to?' Which girl are they going to approach?' Which girl are they going to "tease" to see if they can "hook up?"' The answer is easy.Which girl is showing off her "wares?"' Which girl is acting in a provocative manner?' Which girl is using clothing and body language to possibly advertise her, ahem, "social" availability?' Which girl looks as though sex is on her mind?' The answer is easy.It is completely unreasonable for a provocatively-dressed woman to get any when guys hoot and whistle.' If clothing is just another form of "self-expression," well, we all know what sexy clothes are expressing.' Modest clothes are expressing nothing close to a "come-hither" attitude.A female at work has her boobs popping out of her top and a fellow worker says "nice boobs."' He's considered "bad," but she isn't?' Isn't foisting your sexuality on someone else harassment?' Women can provoke men, but men can't react?' That is the silly thinking of most feminists.Young men in a classroom can't pay attention to the blackboard and the teacher's words when he has in front of him the sight of a girl's lower back and upper butt, because she's wearing very low cut jeans.' Young men on a campus can't even remember which building to go into when a young woman walks by with her soft belly jutting out beneath her short top over her low-cut jeans.This is where responsibility comes in.' If you don't want that kind of attention, don't invite it! When I read the many of the comments posted in response to this story on Breitbart.com , I was not surprised at the naive and utterly stupid remarks about women having their rights to dress and behave any way they want (i.e., no responsibility), and men should control their verbal and emotional reactions (i.e., responsibility all on the men).And then I got to this comment...a nugget of gold in the compost heap: When I entered high school, it was the first year when girls were allowed to wear pants.' Since then, of course, clothing standards have dropped to the point where girls are wearing next to nothing on top of low-cut, tight jeans, or short-shorts. In high school, I would have screamed my head off that it was unfair to tell us what to wear.' Now that we've had 30 years of half-dressed high fashion, and I've become older and wiser, I understand why modesty makes sense.' Our schools, especially here in California, are a complete disaster.' There are many reasons for it, but requiring that girls dress modestly and that boys dress respectfully is a good start.' Considering that hormones are bubbling like volcanoes, particularly in teenage boys, simple steps like this would make a difference.' I remember the days when people dressed up nicely just to go to the movies!' I'm not advocating this, but I would even be for school kids wearing uniforms.' It puts them in a different frame of mind.' Trying to get kids to sit still, pay attention and get an education is not only difficult, but as we see from our dismal failure in the last 20 to 30 years, is imperative for the future of this country.' Looking back, it does amaze me how much my opinion has changed.' It is said that the devil is in the details, and I must concur.' The small things that I thought didn't matter at all turn out to be very important, not only in and of themselves, but they are the blocks on which other decisions/behavior are built.' It's really hard to see this when you're 15 or even 25, but as have accumulated experience in life, it has become very clear. More >>

Tags: EducationFamily/Relationships - TeensParentingSexSexualityTeens
IconAs I was walking through my kitchen to my office, my husband was having his morning cereal, watching Fox News.' They were in the midst of a perky promo for 'what's coming up next,' concerning a school district that was using financial rewards to motivate students to get good grades.' I kept walking... and only heard one bit more about the subject:' 'It's working.'That promo stuck in my mind because of those last words:' 'It's working.''If tantalizing children with money, money, money actually makes them get good grades, because they pay more attention in class, put more effort into their homework, are more invested in studying for exams and working on reports and projects, well, that means that a lot of kids aren't living up to their potential.Why would MONEY make the difference, and not the appreciation of their parents, the respect of their peers, the approval from their teachers, or the mere burst of pride in doing well?' The answer is simple:' kids these days are not raised to care about appreciation, respect, approval and pride...period!' They are brought up to care about celebrity, extravagance, notoriety, freakish attention (think reality shows), infamy as a positive experience, and extreme non-conformity to traditional values.What happens to these kids when the money isn't there, but there is still the expectation of profound effort and commitment?' Certainly teachers, police, firefighters, those in the military, and small shop owners (to name just a few) aren't putting out their best efforts for the financial reward.' A police officer who 'collars' a serious bad guy gets a lot of thumps on the back, a night of some beers with fellow colleagues, and a notch toward an eventual promotion in rank.' Mostly, he has pride in doing his job well.'These children are not being moved in that direction at all by this 'money reward for grades' idea (except, maybe, for the beer).Schools have been eliminating accolades such as high honors at graduation (e.g., valedictorian) so as not to hurt the self-esteem of those who won't or can't rise to that occasion.' Yet, they want to give money, money, money to those who do.' What is THAT message?' No one's feelings are going to be hurt because they didn't get the money, money, money.' Ugh.I think we should go back to showing respect for the children who do perform well: for example, point systems that offer monthly 'perks' like not having to take a few quizzes because their grades are above a B+, or earning a class trip to the zoo, aquarium, or museum or something else that acknowledges their efforts without minimizing the meaning by throwing coins at them. More >>

Tags: EducationFamily/Relationships - ChildrenMorals, Ethics, ValuesParentingValues
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