Email of the Day: I Pushed My Daughter Where She Didn’t Want To Go

I called you and asked you whether I should let my daughter quit riding horses competitively. I told you several times how “talented” she was. You shocked me when you said that just because she is good at something doesn’t obligate her to do that the rest of her life. I was speechless. At that point, I knew that the reason I was pushing my daughter had nothing to do with her talent, desires or goals. It had EVERYTHING to do with me!

My daughter stepped away from horses and has since devoted herself to another sport – tennis. She’s nowhere near the top level of the game, but she enjoys challenging herself and learning more about all things having to do with tennis. Instead of all the videos I took of her riding and looking pretty on a horse (which she never requested I do), I now have videos of her hitting a tennis ball (which she has requested). When I asked her why she would want a video of her doing a simple tennis drill, she told me she wanted to see how she followed through after hitting the ball. I don’t know what “following through” means, but I do know that she’s happy and engaged, which gives me more joy than I could have imagined.

Thanks for setting me straight!

Jolene

I Pushed My Daughter Where She Didn’t Want To Go