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P.C.F.H. / Marriage 101

Email of the Day: I’m Proud to Be a Doting Wife

By Dr. Laura on September 28, 2023
Woman cleans laughing man's shirt in the kitchen

My mother left my father when I was two. My dad did the best he could raising two boys and me. He devoted his life to us and never tried to disrupt our lives by bringing another woman into the household.


I met and married a wonderful man. I never found myself afraid and helpless before I met him, and I didn’t “need” a man to survive. When we were dating, my dad was afraid I would become dependent on my boyfriend, but let go when he saw what kind of woman he raised me to be.


My mother-in-law, who is painfully feminist, tried to tell me she felt the MAIN reason my husband was drawn to me was because I was such a “caretaker,” doing everything for him, like dishes, laundry, cleaning house and telling him how much he is adored. She even said “You basically act like his mother, only worse, and you need to stop.”


I am proud to be a doting wife and have struggled to digest that my own mother-in-law can’t even express appreciation for the way I love her son. Not only are my actions as a devoted and loving wife insulted and mocked, but my husband’s acceptance of such love is considered “selfish” by many women we both know. I’m proud that my identity is too loving and caring, and my husband is seen as selfish for taking care of us and working.




I’m Proud to Be a Doting Wife


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