Breakups can be very difficult for multiple reasons. Here are some Dos and Don'ts that I recommend:
Do: Stick to routines/work and stay busy so you don't ruminate on what is lost.
Do: Keep in mind that realistic expectations should be put on friends. Often, while in a relationship, you often put friends on the back burner, and your buddies will not necessarily want to hear your non-stop complaining about your ex or rearrange their lives to fill the emotional gap on a long term basis. That doesn't make them bad friends necessarily, but it's reality.
Do: Make a list of all the reasons your relationship was unhealthy and refer to it every time you are tempted to call your ex.
Do: Make another list of what you are looking for in your next girlfriend/boyfriend along with a list of other short and long-term goals so you can feel secure in knowing you're building a better future.
Do: Take up a new hobby or activity that can help you reinvent yourself and bring meaning to your life and to help fill the time and the identity gap.
Don't: Call your ex or second guess your decision to leave just because it's very lonely.
Don't: Get into a rebound relationship.
Don't: Drink or take up smoking, or indulge in other vices to ease the pain.
Julia
