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Letters From Listeners

Friending and Unfriending
08/08/2014


I recently listened to a girlfriend who was relating the story of their good friend who suddenly stopped communicating with her. Apparently, the friend was offended that my friend had spent $10,000 on chemo therapy for her beloved dog. She had the money, wasn't ready to let the dog go and felt the need to buy some more time. None of which is anyone's business but hers.

I responded that my criteria for ending a friendship is not so easy. I've had, what I thought, were girlfriends who I loved and enjoyed spending time with. In the end, I discovered they were more interested in my husband than in me. I've since learned to be very careful about those I invest in and introduce into my family.

In the case of the aforementioned friend, I explained the only reason I can imagine myself walking away would be if she did something to hurt my husband or made herself available to him in any way at all that she couldn't tell me about. While she was a bit taken aback, she appreciated my forthrightness and explained she finds women who are that way as reprehensible as I do. We've become even better friends. All of this is to say, I think boundaries are important, they should be established at the onset and when they are violated deliberately, that should be a good reason to terminate the relationship. Friendship is two people sharing a journey and being strong when one is tired and weak so they can continue.

Michelle

 

 

 

Tags: Friendships, Internet-Media, Social Issues
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