Marriages don't fall apart, and couples don't grow apart. What happens is this: couples let go. Husbands and wives stop acting the way they did when they wanted to marry their spouse.
“But,” Mike said, “We don't fight. We don't argue.”
“That's fine,” I said, “But that's clearly not enough. Do you treat your wife with the same care and attention you did when you were wishing, hoping, dreaming of marriage?”
“What if, every day for a month, you treated your wife like you were courting her? Would she want to let go of that? I'm not saying simply be nice. That wouldn't have been enough to convince her to marry you. Think back to what it took then, and do that again.”
The stakes are very high when you're married with kids. Your children and your relationship with them will be forever changed if you and your spouse fail to fix your marriage. Remember this? LOVE. HONOR. CHERISH. You took those vows, and it's your obligation to follow them. And it's your responsibility to show your children how to navigate relationship challenges. They are watching you, and they are learning from you.
Do what your marriage needs, and life can be wonderful for everyone in your home. No matter what has happened, stop licking your wounds and be the first to reach out and start showing more care and affection. You're the one hearing this message. Go ahead and take the first step. Go home and give a hug. Cook a favorite meal. Write a little love note. Send a flirty text.
Treat your spouse every day the way you would if you were trying to get him or her to marry you tomorrow, and you will not grow apart.
