I started listening to your show two months ago. I’m 53 and my husband is 54. We’ve been married for 19 years and have no children. Your book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage, has taken us from healthy to “super-healthy!”
I’d like to share four lessons from wise women I’ve come across in my life:
1. My mother always used to put lipstick on every day at 3:25 PM. My dad arrived home from his factory job at 3:30PM. From my mom, I learned that it’s important to make the effort to present your best self to your spouse.
2. My close friend Jackie bakes the best apple pies anywhere. When she was 10, she asked her mom to make an apple pie for dessert that night. Instead of doing that, her mother gave Jackie a bag of apples and the recipe and said “I’m pretty sure you can figure that out.” From Jackie’s mom, I learned to let children work through challenges big and small by themselves, rather than step in and “help.”
3. Our daughter got married several years ago and was stunned at the generosity of their many dear friends and family members. She said to me, “As great as that was, all we had to do was throw a big party and they sent all these gifts! What’s really important, however, are anniversaries. Those are something to celebrate!”
She was right.
4. Finally, you taught me an important lesson on child-rearing. When responding to a caller who asked about daycare, you compared children to flowers. Some were daisies who could thrive under all kinds of conditions. But others were dahlias, and they needed a higher level of interaction and support to be their best and grow to their full potential. When children are very young, you can’t be sure which they are, so you must be prepared to be a full-time parent. I realized my eldest was a dahlia, while the other three children were daisies. She required more effort and patience on my part as a stay-at-home mom, but it was all worth it.
I hope these might be good lessons for other parents. Thank you for making me a better mother.
Jan
Life Lessons From Four Wise Women
