When we were newlyweds, my husband and I had sex every night. With age and menopause, we’ve both slowed down, and it takes effort to keep up my interest in sex anymore. But my obligation (and I use that term in the most loving and committed way) to my husband is that I save enough of myself physically and emotionally to be there for him when we go to bed. Even though it takes some planning and forethought, it’s the greatest gift a wife can give to her husband.
Although I’d never voice it to him, sometimes I’m absolutely not in the mood when I pull those covers back. But if I simply relax and give in to him, he will quite adeptly get me in the mood – without fail! “Too tired” is preventable, and should never be used as an excuse not to engage in the most intimate and loving act between a husband and wife. “Don’t want the kids to hear” is a cop-out too. And some of the best sex is a surprise attack on your husband when the kids are at school or a friend’s house.
When our kids were older, we simply told them we have sex regularly and to stay away from our bedroom if the door was closed and locked. And no matter how “gross” the kids thought it was that their parents were having sex, we emphasized that sex is something we did to help keep us all together as a family. We consider our sex life so sacred that we nurture it like a garden; something that is always growing, but will die if it’s not fed.
I wish that more women would be girlfriends to their husbands. We’d be filled with much stronger marriages.
Helen
The Importance of Intimacy in a Mature Marriage
