Over the weekend as I do every day – I still read the letters you send me to drlaura@drlaura.com – we had a call last Tuesday and I think this explains it. This woman called in pretty exasperated with some people who wanted to encroach upon this private, serious time where her aunt is dying and they want to see her.
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Of course, there's always somebody who writes, “Well, aren’t men responsible too?” I actually answered that on Facebook.
Number one, who said they're not? Number two, can I write a book about cats without you commenting that dogs make good pets too? I mean, can’t we do one thing at a time?
All that defensive hostility! That's a woman who I have a feeling really needs to read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands because she's hostile right out of the gate.
“Aren't they supposed to be doing it too?” Well, of course! If you know anything about water pumps (watch some old cowboy movies) you have to prime the pump. Men are so easy to prime while women are so difficult to prime. We’re tough – we are tougher to understand and to deal with than men are. They are not complex creatures, and the faster we learn that, understand that, appreciate that, admire that, and embrace that, we can bring the best out of our man.
How did I end up writing the book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands? Well, I was sitting there on the air one day, call after call from women complaining about their man. Some might say, “Some complaints are justified.” I'm okay with that and I can help with that.
But these were women who are clearly not very sensitive, aware, attentive, appreciative, and functional with their husbands. So, they weren't getting the best out of them and they were looking at everything that the husband did as negative. So, I'm just about to go into a commercial break and this is what I did: with a pen in my hand, I said, “That's it. I'm going to write a book. The proper care and feeding of husbands.”
It was a joke. I said it as a joke -- like the proper care and feeding of goldfish! You've seen these books, right? It came out of my mouth as a joke. We go into commercial break, and I said out loud, “Yeah, I'm going to go home and start writing that book.” And I did.
I figured no one would buy it. It became $1 million dollars sold in months, and it went all over the world. I have not gotten one nasty letter on it in all the years. Not one saying, “I followed this book, and my life is worse.” This was 2004 – good Lord, time sure shoots by.
I decided that I would pick some things to read to you today. I'll start out with a little humor. Ready? This was sent to me by a listener. She got this off the internet. “The Perfect Husband Shopping Store”:
“A new perfect husband shopping center opened where a woman could go in to choose among many men to find the perfect husband. It was laid out on five floors with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended the floors. The only rule was that once you open the door on any floor, you must choose a man from that floor. And if you go up a floor, you can't go down to any other floor. The only thing you can do is leave the building. So, a couple of girlfriends go to the store to find a man to marry. The first-floor sign read ‘These men have high paying jobs and love kids.’ The women read the sign and said, ‘Well, that's wonderful. But...’ They wondered what was on the next floor.
“The second-floor sign read ‘These men have high paying jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. Ooh, this is getting really good. I wonder what's farther up.’
“The third-floor sign read, “These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, and will help you with the housework.
“’Wow!’ said the women. ‘Very tempting. Mm, but I want to see what more is up above.’ The fourth-floor sign read, ‘These men have high paying jobs, love kids, extremely good looking, will help with the housework, and are great in bed.’
“’Oh, mercy me!’” the women say. ‘But, just think what must be awaiting us further up?’
“So, up to the 5th floor they go. The fifth-floor sign reads, ‘This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please.’”
Yeah, we think a lot more about how perfect they have to be, as opposed to how warm and feminine and loving and lovable and sweet we ought to be. And one more thing that’s really terrible... What I see on a lot of the threads on our Facebook – the debates – is: “Well, all this is fine except if you marry a narcissist.”
Do you have any idea how narcissists have proliferated the planet, according to women? I mean, every other guy as a narcissist. It's nonsense. And then you dated him for four years and was only after the wedding you could see he was a narcissist. Well, I'm not going to bother to give you the analysis of what a narcissist is. But generally speaking, you didn't marry a narcissist. You might be one, but most likely you didn't marry one. More likely, you didn’t treat a man kindly or you didn’t choose wisely.
How many times have you heard me on the air say, “Yeah, well, in the two, four, five minutes you were dating him...” They’ll reply, “No, we dated for a month! We dated for six months! We dated for four years!” You know what? When a person has a character disorder or a personality disorder, they can't hide it for four years. They can't because it is integral, like your bone structure. It doesn't go away; it doesn't come and go. Nobody can persist that long and fake it.
Think about how you faked, when you were dating, being loving and sensual and contributory and understanding and all the things that you did. Then, you got a house, you got kids and shut it down. Well, then they can say, “I didn't know she was that self-centered.” That hits a chord.
All this month, we're going to be talking hither and thither about aspects of The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. Now, the last question, “Why didn't you write a book about the proper care and feeding of wives?”
That would be one page. I wouldn't get paid much for it. All it would say is, “Yes, dear.”
Buy Now: Amazon
Order Dr. Laura's book "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" - In her most provocative book yet, Dr. Laura urgently reminds women that to take proper care of their husbands is to ensure themselves the happiness and satisfaction they yearn for in marriage.
Buy Now: Amazon
