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05/07/2010
IconChildren Need More Protection By Nancy Carlsson-Paige www.nancycarlsson-paige.com ''The Bourne Identity,'' an action spy thriller based on Robert Ludlum's best-selling novel, is a box-office hit. It's got martial arts-style fights, violent combat with esoteric weapons, and chase scenes that excite lovers of the action-movie genre. To them it's great entertainment. OK. But ''The Bourne Identity'' is not a movie for children. So why is this movie rated PG-13 (''some material may be inappropriate for children under 13'')? Because the film ratings board is made up of people who are handpicked by the movie industry and work for it, because the ratings are given according to criteria that have never been made available to the public, and because the industry wants the lowest ratings possible in order to maximize profits. Decisions about who buys those tickets at the box office and whether or not a movie is good for them to see will always be in conflict with the bottom line. In the last few years, we have seen a ratings slippage. Movies once rated PG-13 are now PG, and movies once rated R are now PG-13. Both the quantity and the intensity of violence in films rated OK for kids to see have increased. In the PG-13 movie ''The Mummy,'' for example, eyes and tongues are ripped out, arms are chopped off, and people are shot to death and burned alive. In ''Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones,'' rated PG (''some material may not be suitable for young children''), a father is decapitated, and his boy finds the severed head in a helmet. And this isn't the half of it. In September 2000, the Federal Trade Commission published a landmark report showing how the movie industry has routinely marketed violent entertainment to children under the ages considered appropriate by the industry's own rating system. The report described a host of unethical marketing practices used by the industry to draw children into violent entertainment. One common way is to market violent toys linked to movies rated PG-13 or R to children as young as 4. This was done with ''Godzilla,'' ''Tomb Raider,'' ''Starship Troopers,'' ''Small Soldiers,'' and ''Spider-Man,'' to name just a few. Often, toys linked to these movies are also linked to other media such as television shows and video games. These toys and their merchandising campaigns draw children into a culture of violence from a young age and help lay the foundation for violent behavior in later life. Two years ago, six major medical groups - including the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, and the American Psychological Association - got together and issued a statement on the effects of entertainment violence on children. After reviewing hundreds of studies, they found an overwhelming causal connection between media violence and aggressive behavior in some children. They also found that children who watch a lot of media violence can become desensitized to violence in real life. This makes sense. Children are more affected by the violent acts they see on the screen and less able to understand them in a context of character, motive, and plot than adults are. Because of this, children are especially vulnerable to the desensitizing effects of violence in entertainment. We have seen many worrisome examples in recent years of young people who can shoot classmates or inflict pain on others without any apparent feelings for them. A Gallup poll revealed that 86 percent of Americans think the amount of violence children see in movies is a serious problem. Six in ten adults say that the information provided by the Hollywood ratings system is inadequate for making judgments about appropriate entertainment for kids. A better system of rating movies is needed, as are controls on the unethical marketing practices identified in the FTC report. Those of us who push for these changes are warned of the danger in limiting freedom of expression. But when seven major media conglomerates own most of the media we consume, exercise almost unlimited control over most of the images to which we are exposed, and are free to market their wares to children without concern for what is best for them, do we want to stand by and claim that it is their First Amendment right to do so? What about the rights of parents and children to live without the pervasive presence of violent media images in their everyday lives? Children are vulnerable. They do need protection. It is not good for them to be exposed to images that make hurting other people look like fun, that encourage them to play with violent toys designed to reenact violence they've seen on the screen. We need to take steps to create a better and healthier entertainment climate for children. A reasonable start would be to restrict the marketing to children of toys and products linked to movies rated for older age groups and to create an independent film ratings board, one that operates outside of industry control. When you think about what the stakes are and what we already know about how violent entertainment affects children, these seem like small, long-overdue baby steps. copy; Copyright 2002 Globe Newspaper Company. Nancy Carlsson-Paige is a professor of education at Lesley University and the mother of Matt Damon, who plays Jason Bourne in "The Bourne Identity." Nancy Carlsson-Paige is a professor of early childhood education at Lesley University and a research affiliate at Lesley's Center for Children, Families, and Public Policy. Nancy has co-authored four books and written numerous articles on media violence, conflict resolution, peaceable classrooms and global education. Her latest book is called Taking Back Childhood: Helping Your Kids Thrive in a Fast-Paced, Media-Saturated, Violence-Filled World . For more information visit www.nancycarlsson-paige.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

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05/07/2010
IconBuying Tips for Women: Never Be Oversold Again By Kelly McCormick www.mccormickteam.com "How did I spend double what I had budgeted?" Is that scenario familiar? Today, more than ever, many women find themselves up against sellers determined to squeeze every penny out of their wallets. The reason is very simple. Worldwide, women now make up the largest buying group in existence. Female Buyers, Beware Many companies are working overtime to understand what women really need and want from their products and services. They are also striving to sell in ways that fit a woman's unique buying style. Unfortunately, in addition to the conscientious sellers trying to hone in on a woman's needs, there are countless vendors tripping over themselves in hopes of making a quick buck. They have caught on to the fact that there is significant spending power in a woman's wallet. Even if the seller doesn't have exactly what a woman needs, they're determined to sell her something... anything . They see the opportunity as ripe for cashing in-at a woman's expense. Give Voice to Your Opinions Should you approach the buying experience as if preparing for a battle? No. However, as women we do need to get more comfortable in stating with confidence what will and won't work for us. Saying NO hasn't always been easy for women. Throughout history, speaking out about what we did or didn't want often meant standing out-and not in a good way. Many societies view women as a calm presence in the world. Traditionally part of our role has been to keep the waters smooth. We are revered as the mediators and peacekeepers of the human condition, of which we can be proud. That is, until we pay the metaphorical price. Saying NO can be uncomfortable. The common fear is that saying NO will offend someone. Worse yet, saying NO could alienate us from others. To avoid creating any hard feelings or difficult situations, many women will steer clear of saying NO, regardless of the cost. Maybe I Will and Maybe I Won't Women can be the mistresses of ways to skim around issues. We should get an award for the number of carefully crafted ways we can indirectly say NO without ever uttering the letters N and O. The predicament this creates is one in which our indirect communication only points out that we can be swayed into saying YES. When a woman doesn't set a definitive boundary, what she consciously or unconsciously communicates is that her stand isn't a firm one. Sellers know that moving her from an indirect NO to a direct YES is an easy probability. Many sellers are up for that challenge. Avoid Sending Mixed Messages We can't fix what we don't recognize. Women tend to use qualifiers when we speak. Qualifiers can be words or statements that instantly change the message about how certain we are about something, the four most common being "sort of," "kind of," "I think," and "I guess." Most of us are unaware of how often we slip into our sentences these phrases that scream out "I'm really not sure about my decisions." When we do utter them, they quickly reveal how a woman really feels. Just as quickly, they alert the seller to turn up the heat in order to make a sale. Those sellers are waiting to hear qualifying statements like these: "I like this house. There are many things that could sort of work for our family." "You're right. It's a good color on me, even though I was kind of thinking of trying something else." "I think this product will work." "I guess I could try it and see if I like it." Taking a Stand There are gracious ways to deliver a NO: Cushion NO between thanks "Thanks. But no thanks." Be clear and concise "This isn't what I was looking for." Express gratitude "However, I did appreciate the time you took to explain everything to me." Some sellers won't take NO for an answer, at least not right away. Your best course of action in this situation is not to defend your position. Your explanations will only provide an opening for a persistent seller to mount a counter-selling attack. As an alternative, keep repeating the statement, "Thanks, but no thanks." Eventually you'll be heard. If you run across a seller who does have your interests at heart, they may offer more products and services, even after you've graciously said NO. Even so, if you sense they are truly committed to finding what's right for you, hold on to that seller for life. You've found a gem. Final Thoughts The best way to ensure that you aren't oversold is to deliver a clear and direct NO. In doing so, you set boundaries for yourself. Becoming more aware of your communication patterns allows you to communicate more effectively. It also makes saying NO, graciously, much easier. Now you are doing business on your own terms-under NO uncertain terms. Speaker and entrepreneur Kelly McCormick's insider secrets on women and sales have proven to increase selling success on both sides of the counter. Frequently quoted in national media, Kelly offers insightful and entertaining presentations. Her How to Sell to Women and Selling Skills for Women sessions are a hit with corporations, businesses, franchises, and associations, both nationally and internationally. Kelly is the author of the soon-to-be released book OutSell Yourself - Breakthrough the Top 7 Selling Challenges. Born in Canada, Kelly now resides in Southern California. For more information, or to sign up for Kelly's Communication E-tip, visit www.mccormickteam.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

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05/07/2010
IconToddler Time into the Terrific Twos: Nine Tips for Maintaining Your Sanity By Joanne Baum, PhD The Parenting Maven www.respectfulparenting.com You no longer are operating in that sleep deprived state. You rarely have spit up on your clothes. You've got the diaper thing down pat, and now your child is beginning to voice his or her concerns, desires, needs, and wants with actual words, sometimes more forcefully than others. You have patience, but it only goes so far, and you're occasionally wishing there was a button to push and mum your child for a few minutes of quiet time ....Down time? Do you remember that? When you could sit on the deck and read for a few hours without interruption... where going on a date with your spouse was not a major financial investment... when babysitters were not even on your radar screen... when skiing was something you did spontaneously...and when this wonderful small human being was not even in your life and you saw parenting as an adventure you were going to embark on as a lovely image in slow motion with a pink haze filter of love looking so alluring. Now your life is more of a fast paced jumble with you at the center playing juggler with too few arms and hands....Who knew? Not to worry - all new parents are in the same position, loving most of it and wondering, at times, how long is 18 years or what did I get myself into.... Nine Tips for the Juggler Parent of a Toddler or Terrific Two Year Old Remember to slow down, watch your child carefully, and be in awe of and in awe with your child, all he is learning and all she is experiencing. Let your child re-introduce you to the world of child time, filled with wonder and awe. Respect your child's individuality. Watch how your child copes. Marvel at his ingenuity, enjoy her creativity. See how your child manipulates through a day. It's all still new and challenging to you and your child. Appreciate your child's moods. Appreciate your child's efforts to interact with the world around him. Understand your child's challenges and frustrations, and avoid some of them. Watch for your child's signals that he is hungry, lonely, tired, needs to be changed, or frustrated and try to avoid those times by anticipating them in advance and circumventing them with fewer errands, healthy snacks, respecting nap time as necessary for your child to rejuvenate herself. Avoid "stimulation overload", which translates into doing too much or being exposed to too much visual and/or auditory stimulation, so your child has to let out the extra stimuli in the form of a tantrum, screaming or other behaviors that are telling you you've pushed your child too much and he or she needs a quiet break. Incorporate time outs into your family routine. You can all take them when you're too emotional to react kindly or gently. Go sit someplace, figure out what's bothering you, and how you want to handle it differently. Then exit out, go back to your family, and share what you've figured out with them. You'll be able to enjoy each other again. Anyone can ask anyone else to please take a time out so you can have a pleasant time together. It's not punishment, it's meant to be a time you can cool out/calm down, by yourself, and come back with a different, lighter attitude. Toddlers and two year olds are incredibly curious small human beings. Their brains are firing off connections at an incredible rate. They are led by their curiosity - don't squelch it, it's the way they learn. Encourage your child's explorations in safe ways. Marvel at the way your child's mind works. Focus on your child. Answer all her inquiries and all his questions completely so you can share your knowledge and insights about the world with your child. Respectfully parent your child and become an awe-full parent - filled with awe and understanding. Respect involves listening to, considering, liking, enjoying and being in a mutual, interactive relationship with your child. Dr. Joanne Baum is a therapist, speaker, author, mediator, and columnist. With more than thirty years of clinical experience Dr. Baum specializes in issues faced by couples, parents, families, and individuals. Joanne does parent coaching in person, via phone or e-mail. Dr. Baum also works as a divorce coach, child specialist, and Child and Family Investigator for divorcing families. Joanne is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a Board Certified Diplomat in Clinical Social Work, and a Certified Alcoholism Counselor, Level III. Dr. Baum has authored four books including her recent book, Got the Baby...Where's the Manual?!? She has a private practice in Evergreen, Colorado. For more information visit www.respectfulparenting.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

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05/07/2010
IconPMS and Pain By Jesse Cannone, CFT, CPRS www.LoseTheBackPain.com It's no secret that many women suffer through their monthly periods, experiencing cramps, bloating and lower back pain, to name just a few. But a large number of them-estimated at anywhere from 30 to 90 percent-also endure the symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Most women feel some discomfort before their periods. But if you have PMS, you may feel so anxious, depressed, or uncomfortable that you can't cope at home or at work. What causes PMS? No one know for sure what causes PMS or why some months are worse than others, but PMS is often linked to the changes in hormone levels that happen during a woman's menstrual cycle. PMS is not caused by stress or psychological problems, though these may make the symptoms worse. "We probably don't get nearly enough magnesium from out diet," says Dr. Carolyn Dean, who specializes in managing and healing commonly misdiagnosed and chronic conditions such as hormone imbalance, and mood swings. "The Recommended Daily Allowance for magnesium is 350-400 milligrams (mg) per day, but for optimal health you may need twice as much." Dean, who serves on the medical advisory board of the Healthy Back Institute, suggests taking magnesium supplements to prevent or ease PMS symptoms, including back pain due to water retention. She recommends magnesium citrate and taurate, as well as spraying on magnesium oil that is absorbed through your skin. Some researchers have found that calcium levels are lower in women with PMS and that calcium supplementation may reduce the severity of symptoms. One study, for instance, reported that 300 mg of calcium carbonate four times a day significantly reduced bloating, depression, pain and mood swings. How is PMS diagnosed? There is no single test to diagnose PMS, but because thyroid disease is common in women of childbearing age, and because some of the symptoms of PMS-such as weight gain-are similar to symptoms of thyroid disease, your doctor may do a thyroid test. This can help rule out a thyroid problem as the cause of your symptoms. Often, a doctor will suggest that you keep a diary to track your symptoms for a few months. How is PMS usually treated? Medicines that are commonly prescribed include diuretics to help the body rid itself of extra sodium and fluid, which can ease bloating, weight gain, breast pain, abdominal pain, and back pain. Antidepressants can help with the severe irritability, depression, and anxiety that some women have with PMS. Doctors often prescribe birth control pills to help reduce some PMS symptoms by evening out hormone levels during your cycle. Experts also suggest making some simple diet and lifestyle changes. These include eating more complex carbohydrates (such as whole grain breads, pasta and cereals), more fiber and protein, and more foods rich in potassium (such as fish, beans, and broccoli). Other things you can do: cut back on sugar and fat; avoid iodine salt (to reduce bloating and fluid retention) try sea salts, eliminate or cut back on caffeine and alcohol, get at least eight hours of sleep each night, and get regular aerobic exercise-even a short walk every day can help. In fact, research has shown that frequency-rather than intensity-of exercise can decrease PMS symptoms. Are there alternative treatments? According to a 2004 study in Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine , a drugless intervention that may provide relief from PMS is something called "external qigong." First, a little background: Human qi comes from two primary sources: one, your parents; and, two, essential substances in nature such as air, water, and food. Both of these qi sources-inherited and acquired vital energies-are refined and transformed by our organs. By eating a healthy diet and breathing fresh air, the theory goes, the body extracts their most valuable essences and uses them to help form the vital energy. Following these simple principles are the first steps towards creating a healthy balance in the body. In external qigong, a trained practitioner directs his or her own qi outward, with the intention of helping patients' clear blockages, remove negative qi, and balance the flow of qi in the body, thus relieving pain and helping the body to rid itself of certain diseases. Scientists in South Korea report that qigong can improve many of the symptoms associated with PMS, and that it may work as well as more traditional methods of relief. Other techniques-such as breathing exercises, meditation, aromatherapy, and yoga-focus on reducing stress and promoting relaxation. It this regard, it is also advisable (where practical) to schedule events you expect will be stressful-that big family reunion, for example-for the week after your period. And because many women seem to be more sensitive in the weeks before their menstrual period, relaxation experts suggest setting aside personal time to unwind, let out pent-up emotions, and focus on things that will nourish your spirit. You may also want to try evening primrose oil, a plant oil that contains gamma-linolenic acid, which is an omega-6 essential fatty acid. Gamma-linolenic acid is involved in the metabolism of hormone-like substances called prostaglandins that regulate pain and inflammation in the body. Other natural remedies commonly used for PMS: ginkgo, vitamin E, royal jelly, dandelion, wild yam, oligomeric proanthocyanidins(OPCs), uva ursi, St. John's wort, progesterone cream as well as Proteolytic Systemic Enzymes. Always check with your healthcare provider before taking anything new. About the author: Fitness expert and best-selling author, Jesse Cannone, CFT, is the co-owner of www.LoseTheBackPain.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

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05/07/2010
IconOops, I Forgot to Have a Baby By Orly Katz www.okcoaching.com That was the startling headline in one of the leading magazines: "Oops, I forgot to have a baby..." The subject was age 40+ women who suddenly realized that, in the race for career, success, and salary, something had slipped their minds. They'd forgotten to have children - to create a family nest alongside their career nest. The article explored the feelings of women who had devoted their entire lives to their careers and were now spending a good deal of their time and resources on fertility treatments that had no guarantee of success. A recent survey of hundreds of women in the U.S. touched on a highly sensitive issue: How do you define success in your life? What would give you a sense of satisfaction and peace? The respondents were married and single women, some of them also mothers. They were all employed, in a range of jobs and ranks - some business owners, others salaried employees, still others freelancers. You might be surprised to learn that the survey results added nothing new to what we've known all along. The things we most desire in our lives are the things that always seem to lie outside our grasp. The responses gave further evidence that women aspire to four ideals in their lives which, for them, are the keys to satisfaction and contentment: Time - time for their families, their partners, their friends, and, yes, for themselves. The pressures of our daily environment obscure everything else. We've got no time to breathe much less smile or just enjoy ourselves a little. Balance - Women seek balance between their work and their personal lives. They want to succeed at work without missing out on a life! They want warm, loving families at the same time they hold satisfying jobs. Control - Over themselves, over time, and over their future finances. They want to act, not react. Great numbers of women launch independent projects or become entrepreneurs. And 38% of all companies in the U.S. are owned by women! Purpose - Women want a reason to get up in the morning. They want to bring about change, to contribute, to feel a sense of purpose. Women want to fill themselves with energy, passion, and drive to do the things they truly believe in. Brenda Barnes was the CEO of Pepsi when suddenly, at age 43, she handed in her resignation. The Wall Street Journal devoted two whole articles to the story. The first discussed Barnes specifically. What motivated her to make this weighty decision? She was quoted as saying that after 20 years of missed birthdays, hotel stays, sleepless nights, and hours not spent with her husband and close friends, she decided it was time to stop. When else, if not now? She just set her mind to it and did it. The second Wall Street Journal article focused on reactions to Barnes' resignation. Who do you think was more supportive, men or women? You're right - it was men. They understood her reasons and backed her decision. Women, on the other hand, reprimanded her. They sent her letters with comments like, "How can you do this to us? Barbara Barnes replied by saying, "I didn't do this to you, or you, or you. . . . I did it for myself and my family. For me, the definition of success is choice. I choose spending more time with my family now. I don't want to miss another birthday. . . I'll now find something that doesn't force people to give up their lives for power!" I present women with six very simple codes for applying the Law of Attraction in their lives. According to the Law of Attraction, the things that we think about are the things we attract into our lives, for better or for worse. We, as women, have particular patterns of thought and behavior that prevent us from attracting into our lives the reality we desire - one of peace, quiet, and balance. Instead, we attract a reality of worry, tension, and guilt pangs. Isn't it time we made some changes? Here are a few questions to consider as you set out to apply the Law of Attraction: Are you in the right place? Are you doing what you really want to be doing?Do you strike a balance between what is nearest and dearest to you and all the rest? Or are you paying too high a price to maintain "all the rest?" Do you know why you get out of bed each morning? Do you have the impulse to do something that emanates from down deep inside - something you do enthusiastically, joyfully, passionately? Are you attracting into your life the things you truly desire or the things you would rather avoid? In other words, do you control your life, or does your life control you? I'm not suggesting, of course, that each of you quit her job tomorrow. That's not a viable option for most of us. But if you want to attract the reality you long for, you certainly should be doing some introspection, checking your priorities, and keeping these concepts in mind: time, balance, control, and purpose. Orly Katz MBA, is the founder of O.K. Coaching - The Women's Coaching Center, and is an international, life, business and career coach for women and an experienced workshop facilitator. Orly reveals the six Codes of the Law of Attraction in her new book: Women, Decode the Law of Attraction . Orly was born in Israel and is married and the mother of three. For further information about Orly's coaching programs, workshops, book, or to schedule her for a presentation, please visit her website at: www.okcoaching.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

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05/07/2010
IconGet Organized for Tax Time By Laura Stack, The Productivity Proreg;, Inc. www.TheProductivityPro.com Imagine kicking back with your refund already in hand (yes, the early bird will beat the rush with the IRS) while all the procrastinators out there are still scrambling to dig up old receipts and complete IRS forms. The closer you get to that April deadline, the less likely you are to take the time and care to stay organized and do the job right. If you let yourself get stressed and rushed, you'll end up in survival mode, just trying to make it through another tax year. So, with lots of time between now and April, let's make this the year to get caught up, straightened out, and financially organized once and for all. You can get a head start on the process. By putting yourself in tax mode nice and early, you can DRAMATICALLY reduce the amount of stress in your life down the road. Begin by getting your files organized. I recommend a five-step process, which I call my "5-P System": Purge: get rid of outdated information Plan: map out your system Place: get everything set up Put: file in the appropriate place Purchase: hire out what you can't do Here's how to use it: Purge. Throw away or recycle any unnecessary duplicates, outdated draft copies, and otherwise unnecessary materials before they turn into a huge mess and an intimidating chore. When it comes to purging, it is all too easy to keep way too much. Unless you feel like perpetually expanding your office space, adding a room to your home, or continually buying more filing cabinets, here are some guidelines on what you can toss or shred, anxiety-free: Airline ticket stubs (once the miles have been applied to your frequent flyer account) ATM receipts (once they have cleared your bank) Business cards from others (input the data into your contact management software and toss the cards) Catalogs you didn't request (if you want to buy something, you can probably find it online) Credit card receipts (once you've reconciled your account, toss any that aren't tax related, needed for a warranty, or might be returned) Financial records (anything older than a year should be moved out and stored in archive boxes) Greeting cards (those that serve no sentimental purpose or plain-vanilla variety) Old calendars with "pretty pictures" (donate to a school or nursing home) Old college term papers (how often have you referenced those?) Old newspapers (old news!) Old warranty manuals (for items you no longer have) Outdated policies (if you no longer hold the policy, you don't need it) Stacks of magazines you haven't touched in years (enough said) Plan. Decide what you need to keep for taxes and have a clear understanding of what needs to be saved (and how long to save it): Paycheck stubs (until you are sure your W-2 is correct) Bank statements, credit card statements and bills that document deductions (keep for three years) Tax returns (keep for six years) Warranty info and receipts for big-ticket items (for as long as you own the product) Receipts for IRA contributions (keep forever-it's the government) Investment statements (hold until six years after the investment is sold) Home improvement receipts (retain as long as you own the house) Place. Start a checklist of things that you'll want to have on hand when you file your taxes. Some of these (your W-2, for example) won't be available until after the end of the year, but there are others that you've been accumulating throughout the year. Keep a file folder marked "2007 taxes," where you put all tax-related receipts as you come across or receive them. You might need more (or less) depending on your situation, but here's a list of some documents that you should set aside after the close of the year: W-2s from your employers 1099-INT (for interest earned) 1099-DIV (for dividends you received) 1099-B forms (reflect transactions involving stocks, bonds, etc) 1099-MISC forms (for any income from self-employment) K-1 forms (if you have a partnership, small business, or trust) 1099-SSA (if you receive social security) Don't forget about your deductions! Maximize your refund by making sure that you get every deduction you deserve. You'll definitely want to do some research or consult a professional on this one, but some common deductions include medical receipts, receipts from charitable donations, education receipts, moving expenses, mortgage interest, and childcare costs. One deduction that is often skipped comes from clothing or used-item donations. Whenever you drop something off with the Salvation Army or a similar organization, always get a receipt. The value of the donated items is deductible. Put. Move all old (previous year) tax returns and related receipts and documents to archive files in a safe, out-of-the-way place. I remove all files I want to keep for history (bank statements, credit card statements, charity donations, etc.). Then I put each year's records in a white cardboard archive box, label it with the year, and store seven years worth of boxes in my basement. In my filing cabinets, I create new hanging files to replace these purged files (if I get audited, I don't want my paper jumbled together). Keep only current information in your central filing cabinets. Purchase. Once you have all your documentation assembled, get help! Hiring a bookkeeper is essential for me since I own a business, but I know several people who use one to help with all their receipts, statements, and bills. Your bookkeeper can compile a tidy and professional set of files that will make life much easier when you need to access financial records, either for tax time or otherwise. If you have a semi-complicated life like we do with two working parents, childcare expenses, and investments, it's definitely worthwhile to have a specialist do your taxes. Add in a few rental properties, a business, and education costs, and it's a no-brainer to hire an accountant. Frankly, in our family, doing it ourselves is simply not worth the time and brain damage. Use software. If you use a bookkeeper, he or she will want you to use an accounting software program like QuickBooks or Quicken (non-business version). If you don't use a bookkeeper or accountant, you should learn to use the software anyway. Imagine printing checks right to your printer with a few mouse clicks; looking up payments by name, date, amount, or number; balancing your checkbook without doing any math; never forgetting to enter a purchase in your manual bookkeeping system; and having automatic tax reports generated at the end of the year. All this is possible, and more! Take a deep breath, buy the software, install it, and go through the Wizard that pops up when you load it. Follow this five-step process, and you'll be on your way in no time. You'll be so relieved that you'll never start your taxes after the New Year again! Make it a productive day!#8482; copy; 2008 Laura Stack. Laura Stack ( www.TheProductivityPro.com ) is a professional speaker who helps busy workers Leave the Office Earlierreg; with Maximum Results in Minimum Time#8482;. She is the president of The Productivity Proreg;, Inc., a time management company in Denver, Colorado, that caters to high-stress industries. Laura is the bestselling author of the books Find More Time (2006) and Leave the Office Earlier (2004). Her newest productivity book, The Exhaustion Cure (2008, Broadway Books), is available for pre-order at Amazon.com. Laura is a spokesperson for Microsoft, 3M, and Day-Timersreg;, Inc and has been featured on the CBS Early Show, CNN, and the New York Times. Her clients include Cisco Systems, Sunoco, KPMG, Nationwide, and Microsoft. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

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05/07/2010
IconChoosing A College By Ruth Haag www.RuthHaag.com For those who will be a high-school junior this year, and want to go to college, it's time to determine what college they want to attend. Folks often do this by talking with their friends, looking at brochures, and looking at the college's course offerings, but an often-overlooked factor is determining whether the academic and living environment at the school is one in which the student will succeed. If the student is unhappy in the school and living environment, no amount of academic prestige will keep them there. Since the goal of attending college should be to graduate, the living environment is very important. Colleges come in many shapes and sizes, so finding the right "fit" is not too difficult, if you understand the differences. Here, we review the different characters. Small Private Schools Small, private schools typically have 1,600 or fewer total students, or fewer than 400 per class level. They are often affiliated with a religious institution. They have small campuses and normally very attentive faculty. In these schools, the student is assigned a guidance counselor who meets with them and helps them determine what courses to take. The faculty in these schools typically has Master's or PhD degrees. Often the schools require the students to live on campus, and the school then provides dormitories and dining halls. The school takes a very active role in the student's education, and also in monitoring their living and partying habits. A student who has not been away from home much, and who is a bit uncertain about the college experience, can be very successful in a small private school. The main downside is that, since these schools are private, they cost quite a bit to attend. Medium-Sized State Schools Medium-sized state institutions typically have around 20,000 students, most working on Bachelor's degrees, but some working on Master's degrees and PhDs. The student has a guidance counselor, but often has to seek out the counselor for help. The students typically live on campus in dormitories the first year, but often live off-campus in apartments for the remaining years. The student has to understand the college bureaucracy, and "work it." Living off-campus requires more independence. They must be able to pay their bills, and prepare their own food. No one from campus is there to oversee their living or partying arrangements. The range of courses offered at these schools is greater. The lecturers may have Master's or PhD degrees. These schools are typically much lower in cost than private colleges, as long as the family is living in the same state as the school, or is "in-state." If the family is "out-of-state," then the tuition is normally three times the "in-state" tuition. This ends up being comparable to the tuition at a small private school. Large State Schools Large state institutions typically have a student body of 40,000 to 60,000. Students normally live in dormitories the first year, and off-campus the next years. The college may not even offer on-campus housing for upperclassmen. At these schools, the student has to be able to handle large corporate problems on their own. They, and about 1,500 others, are assigned a guidance counselor who signs their class schedule each semester. The student must be able to determine what courses they need to graduate, and be able to schedule these on their own. The lecturers have PhDs, and are assisted by graduate students. Much of the actual teaching, and most of the interaction with students, is done by these graduate students, who are working on their own Master's or PhD degrees. The professors have office hours, and are often helpful when approached, but the student must know that they have a problem in the class, and must take the initiative to find the professor and get help. These schools spend a lot of time trying to make themselves act like small schools, but they are largely unsuccessful. A person who attends a large university must be able to cope on their own. The cost to attend most of these large state colleges is about the same as the medium-sized state schools, if the family lives in the same state as the school, or is "in-state." Community Colleges Community colleges often offer two-year degrees, but some offer four-year degrees. The students live at home while attending classes. The class schedules often allow for the students to have full-time jobs and attend school at the same time. Because the students live at home, the experience at a community college can be more like that of a high school. Most instructors at community colleges have Master's degrees. The cost of a community college is generally less than that of the other options. Students often attend two years of community college and then make the jump to a four-year school to finish up their degrees. The School's Personality Colleges all have personalities. You can feel the personality when you arrive at the campus for a visit. If you visit the school and it does not feel like you, then don't go there. There is one major well-respected institution that we visited with one of our daughters, that we thought would be wonderful. What a joy to be able to say that she had a degree from that school! We arrived on campus and prepared to take the tour. The tour guide was what we used to call "flaky," but we chalked that up to happenstance. Then we sat in an auditorium and listened to a talk given by an admissions person. She also seemed to not "go very deep." We figured it was just the person available to talk that day. Our daughter attempted to talk to people in the department she wanted to attend. She had trouble getting in touch with them, and then had trouble getting any information out of them. Finally, she went for an interview with a graduate from the school who lived in our area. This person struck us the same as the others. This was definitely not a school for us. Walk around campus and feel the personality of the school. You want to feel comfortable there. Do most of the people that you meet seem intelligent and happy? Are they stern? Are you stern? When you stand on the campus looking lost, does someone stop to help you? Do you want help? Or do you want to be left alone? When you happen into the research area and find a researcher, do they stop to talk to you? Are they excited about what they do? We once were standing on a sidewalk at a school with 60,000 students. A statistics professor stopped, asked if we needed help, and then told us all about the school. What a good feeling for us. Find a good feeling, for you. Choosing For a protected environment, choose a community college or a small private school. For independence, choose a larger school. Choose a school that feels right to you. Definitions Associate Degree: Two years of class work, generally four classes a semester. Normally given in a specific job-related field like Environmental Technician, or Engineering Technician. Bachelor's Degree: Four years of class work, generally four classes a semester. Bachelor's degrees are split into either Bachelor of Arts (BA), which emphasizes disciplines such as English and Classics, or Bachelor of Science (BS) which emphasizes disciplines such as Botany, Geology, and Chemistry. Master's Degree: Two additional years of study, past the Bachelor's Degree. Often a Master's degree requires some research work that extends research started by others. The divisions are like those for the bachelor's: Master of Arts (MA) or Master of Science (MS). PhD (Doctorate): Two additional years of study past the Master's Degree. Normally original research is required, and is presented in a dissertation. Underclassman: a freshman or sophomore, the first two years of a 4-year program. Upperclassman: a junior or senior, the last two years of a 4-year program. About the author: Ruth Haag ( www.RuthHaag.com ) helps managers and employees understand the dynamics of the work environment, and how to function smoothly within it. She is the President/CEO of Haag Environmental Company. She has written a four-book business series: #147;Taming Your Inner Supervisor#148;, #147;Day-to-Day Supervising#148;, #147;Hiring and Firing#148;, and #147;Why Projects Fail.#148; Her enjoyable, easy-to-read books provide a look at life the way it is, rather than the way that you might think it should be.Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

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05/07/2010
IconBeyond The Blues: Kids and Depression By Dr. Maryann Rosenthal www.drma.com Over 11 million prescriptions were written last year for kids with depression. That did not include those who didn't even see a doctor. Growing up is never easy. It is a time of upheaval and emotional storms. The very openness children exuded and were rewarded for seems to invite penalties as they grow beyond adolescence They are exulting in their hoped-for independence even as they are frightened by the demanding, often-uncaring world of adulthood. During this confusing period, they end up changing from one mode to the other so often and so rapidly that it confounds their parents. Teenagers often turn to actions that provide emotional stimulation to counteract feelings of self-induced emptiness and low self-esteem. All kids get sad or upset about things now and then: getting a bad grade on a test, arguing with a friend, being grounded, or being without a date for a big dance. These temporary disappointments are not necessarily depression, but stress in its many forms and the inability to deal with stress is a major factor in creating and exacerbating the problem. Changes in behavior are normal as our kids try to figure out who they are and what they believe in. Most depressed kids are troubled by who they are, how others perceive them, and what parents, peers, and the world at large expect of them. Researchers believe depression affects 3 percent to 5 percent of preteens and up to 15 percent of adolescents with girls suffering from depression at twice the rate of boys. In an alarming study by Seventeen Magazine, 28 percent of girls said they feel depressed every day or at least a few times a week. Girls are looking to peers for validation and it is often hard for them to retain a positive self-image. Adolescent girls undergo more life changes than boys and for yet unknown reasons, they are more vulnerable to negative life events, while the sources of stress in boys are more commonly school performance or other factors outside of social relationships, such as a move to another home. The good news is that serious depression in our children is treatable but it is often difficult to diagnose. The symptoms may be mistaken for Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) causing misdiagnosis and incorrect treatment. What should parents and teachers look for? You really have to tune in and judge the signs of depression against your child's usual and normal behavior. Depression is different from "the blues" because it is longer in duration and more intense. Parents, friends, and teachers are crucial allies in the treatment of childhood depression. Don't ignore your instincts and if you think there's something wrong with your child, chances are you're right. It's a real danger sign when stress becomes too much to deal with and a child just feels like giving up, where life becomes overwhelming and hopeless. If your child experiences two or more of these symptoms for two consecutive weeks, it might be depression and not just "the blues": Decline in school performance Change in eating/sleeping habits Persistent unhappiness Inability to concentrate Irritable or angered easily Aggressive, impulsive, or reckless behavior Excessive guilt or anxiety Withdrawal from people and activities previously enjoyed Physical aches and pains Talk about death or suicide-this should always be taken seriously Tuning In! Fortunately, there are effective treatments for childhood depression. First, you must overcome any discomfort or embarrassment that you might feel about the problem. A real key is to be able to talk calmly with your child about it. Your physician can offer guidance and help with a referral to a mental health practitioner A good mental health evaluation should include discussions with teachers and other family members. Psychotherapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy should be part of every treatment plan and may be all that is necessary. Medication can be a powerful weapon against depression but should be prescribed only by an experienced physician in close consultation with family. Medication doesn't work for everyone and may make some depressed kids feel worse. Clinical depression has biological origins and has been linked to an inherited imbalance in brain chemicals, although family environment is a contributing factor. Depression is in part a disorder of relationships. The depressed person withdraws and breaks connections with the larger traditions of which we are a part, such as family, culture, and religion. Part of the antidote is strengthening those relationships. All of the medications and therapy in the world will not help a child if their home environment is a root cause of problems. In other words, depression is a family matter that involves everyone. Nurturing a child's self-esteem and confidence, staying active, exercising, and developing good eating habits can help alleviate stress and depression in our children. It's important that you look out for serious depression and doubly important that you heed the great deal of research that shows that the more family-like connections a person has, the more inoculated against depression they are. Dr. Maryann Rosenthal is a highly respected clinical psychologist on family dynamics and best selling author of Be A Parent, Not A Pushover , recently selected as a book of the year on effective parenting. She is a featured authority on regional and national television and a global keynote speaker. She has been selected by Yahoo! Health, to be a family relationship expert. For more information visit www.drma.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. More >>

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