I sent my youngest child off to kindergarten last month. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for the past 17 years, and I’ve been reflecting on this pivotal moment. I wanted to share with you some of the thoughts I wrote down on that day:
1. All my children are at school today for the first time. I can’t help but wonder what my youngest is doing at this very moment and how he is feeling. I’m sad, but I don’t cry. I don’t really know what to do with that feeling.
2. As much as I’ve wanted kids and family to leave me alone sometimes, and wanted to sit in peace and quiet with no guilt about doing so, now that it’s here, I want it all back! I’ve passed the halfway point of parenting, and should have another 30 years without kids in the home. Will I remember then this moment now?
3. I’m thankful that I’ve been able to be home with my kids for their formidable years. Grateful to have lived on less, and to have my husband of 18 years provide for us. Grateful to have been present for all the milestone moments in their lives. How joyful I am that I have been there for it all.
I know it’s not over and that I’ll never stop mothering even when they’re grown and gone. But this chapter is closing and a new one is opening. I don’t know exactly what my days will be like, but hopefully, soon I’ll see them for the wondrous possibilities they hold.
Claire
I’m Starting A New Chapter In My Life
